


You Are The Waves: I am The Sea

by thelittlespook



Category: Doctor Who- RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:34:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 33,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelittlespook/pseuds/thelittlespook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The bell rings and the hall begins to fill with students bustling back to class after the lunch break. A tall and muscular boy by the name of James knocks her to the ground and keeps walking. He and his friends laugh as they walk away. </p><p>She begins to right herself, grumbling a few choice words she learned while working at her father's shop when suddenly, an extra set of hands are reaching out to recover her notebooks and slightly out of reach pencils. </p><p>"Sorry about them," a soft voice says from beside her. She doesn't see his face - her wild bushel of curls blocks her view - she stands and accepts the pile of stationery, mumbles her thanks and, just as quickly as the event occurred - he was jogging off down the hall, floppy hair bouncing as he went.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caught in the crowd

  
The bell rings and the hall begins to fill with students bustling back to class after the lunch break. A tall and muscular boy by the name of James knocks her to the ground and keeps walking. He and his friends laugh as they walk away.   
  
She begins to right herself, grumbling a few choice words she learned while working at her father's shop when suddenly, an extra set of hands are reaching out to recover her notebooks and slightly out of reach pencils.   
  
"Sorry about them," a soft voice says from beside her. She doesn't see his face - her wild bushel of curls blocks her view - she stands and accepts the pile of stationery, mumbles her thanks and just as quickly as the event occurred - he was jogging off down the hall, floppy hair bouncing as he went.   
  
  
\---

"You didn't have to do that, you know," he puffs as he catches up to his still laughing group. 

"What's the matter, Smith," said James as he elbowed him in the ribs. "Got a crush?" 

Matt pushed him away with a chuckle. "No, but why do you have to be so mean? I've been here less than a week and I can't even count on both hands how many times you've singled that poor bird out." He gestures behind him. 

"You mean Kit-Off?" Harry chimes in, walking backwards as he talks. 

"The slag deserves it," continues James.

"What d’ you mean?" Matt asks curiously. 

"She stays back after school and the art class pays her to get her kit off and dance around,," Charlie says with an amused chuckle. 

Matt shakes his head incredulously and James continues talking. "Me Mum does the class after school she said that Kingston comes in, the class gives her money, Collins puts on music and she dances."   
  
"Like a stripper -" interrupts Harry with a rumbling laugh. 

Matt scowls at the term 'stripper' but says nothing.   
  
\---   
  
The next time she meets her mysterious saviour, it's in drama class.   
  
"Quiet everyone, please." Mrs Patterson calls as she enters the room with the tall, scruffy boy in tow. "Everyone, this is Matthew Smith. He's just transferred from Northampton."   
Alex didn't bother looking up. She'd heard the boys calling to him in the halls as they torment her every morning this week.  
  
Mrs Patterson sets her paperwork on the table at the front of the room and continues speaking. "For your next assessment, I want you all to form groups of two to five and select a scene from a work of Shakespeare."

The class comes alive, bustling with students who are scrambling to pair up with their best friends. Mrs Patterson waits until the din subsides before speaking again. "Do you all have a partner? Alex?" Alex looks up, eyes wide and in a state of alarm. Mrs Patterson asks again. "I said, do you have a partner?"

Alex shakes her head, sighing in resignation.   
  
The teacher points across the room. "Smith, take a seat with Alex."   
  
Matt bounds over with the energy of an excited puppy and sits on the vacant seat to her left.

Alex remains silent.

He clears his throat softly and she flinches. 

 _Clearly she's not deaf then_.  
  
"Obviously."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I'm not deaf," she replies coolly and Matt blushes.   
  
"Did I say that out loud?" He asks  in an exaggerated whisper.  
  
"Yes."   
  
" _Shit_. Well, this is going great," he laughs nervously.   
  
Alex looks up in disturbance and scowls at him. His breath hitches and he clears his throat again. His friend's descriptions did not do her justice. Her eyes make even the ocean look murky, her lips are- _Christ_....... And her hair _definitely_ doesn't look like a rat's nest.   
  
Alex sits silently for a few seconds as he scrutinizes her face before she clears her throat in irritation.   
  
"Oh sorry, I was just -"   
  
"Looking for the rats nesting in my hair?" She raises a knowing eyebrow and he blushes a bright shade of scarlet.

"Have I completely lost control of my inner monologue?"   
  
The corners of her mouth twitch into a small smile and he feels slightly relieved. "Honestly though, I really like your hair. It’s much nicer than my boring old mop. I'd trade any day!"   
  
"Try waking up to it in the morning and _then_ tell me you'd trade." She quips.   
  
"Oh, I'd love to wake up to it sometime but not on _my_ head." He replies in a voice that is distinctively lower than his own, and her head snaps around in shock.   
  
"Wow, I am so sorry!" He apologises. "I didn't mean to be offensive or anything. My mouth just has a mind of its own sometimes."   
  
Alex smirks. "Maybe I should teach you to control that mouth of yours sometime." She offers in a nonchalant tone and his eyes immediately find their way to her lips.

She bites her bottom lip anxiously and looks away, reaching for and then dropping her script in a fluster.  
"Well, we should get working on this scene then,” she says as she retrieves the fallen pages. “It's Macbeth- are you familiar?" 

Matthew makes a non-committal sound and she shakes her head at him in mock dismay. 

"Amateur," she teases, shaking her head. "Well, let's get down to the basics then." She pauses for a moment, waiting for him to catch on, before gesturing to his script.

He leans forward in his chair in interest and turns to the first page. 

"The assignment is to adapt a Shakespearean play into a modern setting. Now, I want you to close your eyes and visualize the scene. You're Macbeth, you've been at war and haven't seen your wife in months. Put yourself in that situation. How would you feel?"   
  
Matt begins to run through the scene in his mind. He sees himself and Alex in an apartment, he's wearing an old military uniform....

  _Months away from the woman he loves... His mind begins to wander to Alex - Lady Macbeth – as she crosses the room to meet his embrace. Macbeth is basically insatiable and his hands grab at her frantically, as if trying to remember every inch of her by touch. He lifts her against a wall and reaches hungry hands up the skirt of her dress and..._

  
"That's perfect,” says Alex suddenly and he opens his eyes. 

"Shit, _again_?" 

Alex laughs throatily in confirmation. He blushes profusely, raking his hand through his hair nervously.

"No but really, it's exactly what we need!” Her enthusiasm is adorable, he thinks, and it radiates from her like a beacon. “It's edgy and completely different to any interpretation I've seen!”

Matt focuses his eyes on the floor.

Alex exhales sharply. "What's wrong?"  

Matt shifts uncomfortably in his chair and sighs. "It's just - people will - you know?"

"It was your idea," she scoffs. 

"I know but I have a really over active imagination and aren't you - "

"Aren't I what?" She snaps. The class turns to look at them. "Worried people will think?"

"I already know what they think of me and it's not like it will affect my social standing any further - “

Matt opens his mouth to speak but she cuts him off. 

"You know what, don't worry about it. I'll do the performance by myself so you needn't worry." 

"Alex, don't be stupid. I didn't mean that at all! I just - I know people can be mean and I -" 

"Don't you try to make this about protecting me. You don’t even _know_ me!" Alex gathers her books and stands abruptly. "They can say what they like about me. I don't exist to please them!" 

" Alex wait!"  He calls after her.

But she has already stormed out. 

 

 


	2. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt searches the grounds of the school for half an hour before he gives up and begins to walk home. A light drizzle has begun to fall and he runs in short bursts to shelter under awnings and trees along the way. The rain starts to increase in intensity quite soon and he finds himself sprinting to the nearest bus stop for cover and setting himself down next to another hooded figure on the rickety bench.

Matt searches the grounds of the school for half an hour before he gives up and begins to walk home. A light drizzle has begun to fall and he runs in short bursts to shelter under awnings and trees along the way. As the rain begins to increase in intensity, he finds himself sprinting to the nearest bus stop for cover and setting himself down next to another hooded figure on the rickety bench.   
  
"Oh for Christ's sake, can't you take a hint?" Alex snaps.   
Matt jumps off the chair in surprise.   
"Alex! I've been looking for you everywhere," He yells over the rain. "I wanted to apologise!"   
Alex rolls her eyes in disbelief.  
"Honestly, I didn't mean to offend you. It's just, I've seen the guys pick on you and -"   
Alex rises from the seat and leans in close enough that he can see her pupils contract.

His eyes widen in fear.   
  
"Do _not_ for one second try to tell me that you're doing this to defend my honour!" Alex shouts, punctuating her words by jabbing her finger into his chest. "I've seen you with them. You _let_ them harass me and you don't do a _thing_ about it so before you get all high and mighty and tell me you're protecting me, perhaps you should think on that."  
  
Though Matt has at least a foot on Alex in terms of height, he can feel himself shrinking smaller and smaller as she shouts. She's right, of course. Though he had not physically bullied her, he hadn't done a thing to stop his friends and that may as well be the same. He raises his hands in surrender.   
  
"You're right," he sighs. "I should have tried harder to stop them but they just ignored me and kept on slagging you off." 

Her face softens slightly. "What do you mean you tried?"  

Matt looks up, surprised at her sudden restrain. "I saw them knock you down when I was on my way up the hall from the loo the other day. I stopped to help, don't you remember?" 

She gasps. "Oh, that was you? I didn't see your face because my hair was in the way,” she laughs. “When I got up, you'd already run off." She pauses in thought. "I suppose I owe you." she smiles timidly.

They sit in an awkward silence for a moment before she speaks again. "Just out of curiosity, what were they saying?”

Matt speaks hesitantly. "Well, they started poking fun at me because I stopped to help you... then they started saying things about you... and I forgot to keep at them to stop," he admits.   
  
"What were they saying that had you so distracted?" She asks, smirking.

He suspects she already knows the answer to the question but he continues. "James said that you model for the art class..." His cheeks flush with colour and he looks away. 

  
"And that has you all flustered." She asks with a raised brow.    
  
Matt's eyes widen. "So it's true?"    
  
Alex nods. "I'm not embarrassed. I'm completely comfortable with my body."  
  
His brows knit together and he nods awkwardly.   
  
They sit in silence for a few minutes watching the rain fall and then pool in the cracks in the pavement beneath their feet.   
  
"Aren't you even a bit curious?" Alex asks, breaking the silence.   
  
"About what?"   
  
She arches a knowing eyebrow at him and he looks at her curiously. She takes his silence as a cue and continues.   
  
"I love the way it makes me feel," she admits, her eyes sparkle with passion as she speaks. "It makes me feel alive."   
  
Matt looks to her and nods his head in agreement. "That's how it feels for me - when I play football, I mean."   
  
They fall silent again.   
  
"So, what does it involve - if you don't mind my asking, that is?"  
  
Alex smiles at him. It was nice to talk to someone her age without being treated like a complete nutter for once.   
  
"Well," she exhales. "Mr Collins puts on music and then I will sort of dance and when I'm moving, he'll stop the music and I freeze in the pose. It isn’t always music though. Sometimes it's recordings of wind or a stormy sea or something and the class will have a minute or two to draw. Sometimes I don't have to stop. Sometimes it's just 5 solid minutes of free dancing and they draw as I move. Those are always really interesting to see!" She laughs throatily and he smiles softly at the way her nose crinkles. 

  
Matt's overactive imagination goes into overdrive. He feels a warmth building in the pit of his stomach and quickly tries to extinguish it with more conversation.   
  
"And it doesn't bother your parents at all?"   
  
Alex shakes her head. "I'm 17 so it's all perfectly legal. My mum is the art teacher at the local college. She's actually the one who got me the job. It's not glamorous by any means but it pays quite well. I've been saving the money I earn to move to London once I've graduated."   


Matt's eyes light up. "I've always wanted to live in London. Live music, cool cafés, markets," he lists excitedly.   
  
"I live for a good flea market! I love the idea of giving new life to old objects. When I have a flat of my own, I'm going to furnish it wall-to-wall with market finds. New things just seem so...."   
  
"Lifeless," Matt finishes and she grins widely. 

 

\---

  
They chat for quite a while about everything and nothing at the same time. They don't even realise that the rain has since stopped and the light in the sky is growing dim.   
  
Matt glances at his wristwatch. "Shit, we should have been home ages ago! Where do you live?"

“That’s awfully forward of you, Mr Smith,” she chuckles and he flails in discomfort. “No, no! It's just that it’s getting dark and I don't want you walking home alone."

“I know,” she laughs. "It's just fun to watch you squirm.”

They walk a few houses down and then she pauses. “I live just down the end of that road there," she indicates the road to their left. "I’m fine darling, honestly." 

Matt takes a sharp breath in at her sudden use of pet names and he clears his throat.

"Um, I'm just down that way too so I can walk with you."   
  
Alex eyes him skeptically but says nothing and they walk together up the road.   
  
True to his word, Matt veers off her course and enters the street around the corner but he waves like an idiot until she loses sight of him. She walks the remaining distance to her garden gate shaking her head. 

 

\---

When she walks through the door, she's bombarded with the smell of something delicious cooking in the oven.

"Alexandra?" Calls her mother from the kitchen.   
  
"Yes mum, it's me." she calls into the house as she removes her damp coat and hangs it by the door.   
  
"How was school today?"

 

Alex makes her way to the kitchen doorway and answers. "It was good. Brilliant actually." She beams brightly.  
  
It had been a long time since Alex had been honest about her school day. She was sure that her mother saw through her act every time but she never said otherwise. Today, she smiled a warm smile in her daughter's direction and patted her cheek. "That's good, darling. Go wash up for dinner now."

 


	3. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been just over a month since they began their daily routine. Matt walks Nicola to school with Alex, they chat about nonsense as they walk and then they go their separate ways once they enter the school building and meet up when the opportunity presents itself. 
> 
> Today, Alex has art class first up and Matt has Phys Ed. Her morning is unbelievably uneventful for the first time in quite a while. She hears no taunts from other students; she doesn't even feel the eyes raking over her as she walks.

The next morning, Matt lurks just beyond the corner of his street waiting for Alex to pass. As if on cue, she wanders past with her sister in tow. He waits for her to pass and then jogs out of his street.   
  
Matt beams as he catches up. "Morning! Mind if I walk with you?" 

  
Alex chuckles. "By all means, please." 

  
"Lexy, who's your friend?" A small voice interrupts from her other side. 

"Oh Nicola, this is Matt. Matt, this is my little sister. I'm just dropping her off at the primary up the road," she explains. 

"You mean she isn't coming with us?" Matt asks in mock surprise. 

"I'm only seven!" Nicola giggles. 

"But you look far too grown up! Surely, you can’t just be in primary" he insists.

Nicola laughs again and takes his hand. Alex glances over asking silently if he minds and he smiles to her in return.

The three walk hand in hand the remainder of the way to Nicola's school. She begs for Matt to walk her to school every day once they arrive at the door. He agrees, on the condition that her mum says yes and that Alex doesn't mind coming along so he doesn't get lost on the way.

She giggles quietly and hugs both Matt and Alex goodbye, waving as she runs off to play with her friends on the playground.   
  
"You don't have to, you know," Alex assures him as they walk away. 

"No, it's fine seriously. She's great! I always wanted a little sister or brother. You're really lucky." 

"Do you have any siblings?" 

"I have an older sister, Laura. She's off at college so I only see her every other weekend now." He sighs. 

"You two must be close then?" Alex queries.

Matt nods. "Yeah, she was the first friend I ever had. It's so quiet 'round the house without her. I don't miss the cold shower in the morning though." They both giggle. 

"Well, if you're ever in need of some company, you know where I live," she offers. "It's a bit of a mad-house but it's home." 

"Thanks Kingston. That really means a lot." Matt playfully nudges her in the arm with his own as they walk onto school grounds. 

  
  
\--

  
It's been just over a month since they began their daily routine. Matt walks Nicola to school with Alex, they chat about nonsense as they walk and then they go their separate ways once they enter the school building and meet up when the opportunity presents itself.   
  
Today, Alex has art class first up and Matt has Phys Ed. Her morning is unbelievably uneventful for the first time in quite a while. She hears no taunts from other students; she doesn't even feel the eyes raking over her as she walks.   
  
The rest of her day goes much the same and, for once, she feels confident in herself. Reassured that things are changing: that her time in hell is almost over. She walks with her eyes straight ahead instead of cast downward for the first time in several months and it feels absolutely wonderful. Wonderful until she rounds a corner and finds herself face to face with James and Harry, that is. 

 

"Where you going Kingston?" James taunts. 

She inhales sharply and holds her head high. "None of your business," she confidently returns. "Now get out of my way. You might not care about being late but I do." 

James folds his arms across his chest and steps forward. Harry weakly mimics him from behind. "What did you say?"

"I said get out of my way, you great oaf." 

"Oh, you're gonna be sorry!" James grunts. 

Harry gasps loudly and she glances toward him for only a second. That second of lost focus was all it took for James to pull back his fist and punch her in the face with enough force to knock her to the ground. 

 

\--  


 _White._    


White is all she sees as she is laying on the polished wooden floor, blinded with pain. She cries out in agony but the halls were practically empty by now since the bell had already rung. Her face is growing warm with the steady flow of blood which is now staining the front of her school blouse. She can feel her face swelling and she knows from the distinct crack she heard upon impact that her nose is quite probably broken.   
  
"My mum says you shouldn't hit girls!" Harry shrieks.

"Shut up Harry or you'll be next!" James yells. "Next time, mind your manners Kingston -" he calls as he skitters off with Harry trailing behind him.   
  
Alex lifts herself into a sitting position and lays limp against the wall. She pinches her fingers against the bridge of her nose in an effort to slow the bleeding but knows that it's virtually hopeless. Moaning in pain and still seeing stars, she struggles in vain to stand again and her head spins. She falls onto her hands and knees and empties the contents of her stomach onto the floor beneath her; her tears and blood mingle in the puddle of her sick.   
  
She hears footsteps around the corner. At last, _hope._  

"Helb," she wails. "Blease, I deed helb." 

The footsteps quicken and she hears them shuffling ever closer. 

"Shit," gasps a familiar voice.

"Batt?" 

Matt approaches her and throws himself down on his knees beside her. "Christ Alex! What happened, love?" 

"Fell ober." She lies. 

"Yeah sure," Matt scoffs in disbelief but he decides against starting a fight. That could wait. "Come on, let's get you to Admin." He pulls off his jumper and places it over her nose to soak up the still flowing blood.

"Batt, your jubper!" She observes. 

"'S'all right, I've got plenty. You'll probably need to go to the hospital for that one." 

"Woderful." 

  
\--- 

  
Matt strides into the hospital room the following morning with the big question burning on his lips. He doesn't even bother with the pleasantries, he just plops himself down onto the visitor's chair and gets right to the point. "So, are you going to tell me what really happened or not?"   
Alex painfully raises her eyebrows and recoils quickly.

"I orready tod you, I fell ober." She replies adamantly.

"Nonsense," he retorts. "You're as graceful as a bloody gazelle. Now start talking, Kingston." 

Alex huffs and then winces at the sharp pain. "Orright, ib you bust dow, id was Jabes." 

"I'll kill him," Matt affirms coldly. 

"Dob't Batt, id'll dusd bake dings worse," she pleads. Tears fall from her purple rimmed eyes and then settle around the edges of the bandages covering her nose before soaking into the gauze. 

"Not even if I make it look like an accident?" He asks, his smile devious.

 Alex can't help but chuckle despite her pain.

"That's more like it." Matt says with a lopsided smile. 

  
They sit in an amicable silence for a while, Alex draws in a sketchbook that her father thoughtfully supplied and Matt watches on curiously. He notices that everything she has drawn culminates into a giant twisted image of a disjointed nose.   
  
"Alex?"   
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"It'll be alright, you know... I've broken loads of bones and they've mended just fine."   
  
"You dod't udersdad Batt. Da dose id't bode, id's cardilige. Id doed't heal de sabe way," she sighs and then winces again. "Id'll dever be de sabe," she sobs and Matt clasps her hand.    
  
"It's okay, Alex. If it can't heal properly on its own, they'll perform surgery to fix it and it'll be fine." He smiles softly. "Me mate Sammy back home broke his nose playing rugby and it looked heaps worse than yours. It was practically flat on his face!" He adds enthusiastically and Alex grimaces at the visual description. "Sorry." He laughs. "Anyway, he had surgery to repair it and his nose looks fine! Better, in fact!" 

"Odly tibe will teww," Alex sighs and smiles half-heartedly.   
  
  
  
\---

 

As luck would have it, her nose would not need to be reset. After the swelling had subsided, it became evident that it was merely fractured. It was permanently damaged but not to the extent that it required further treatment. Alex was required to wear a nasal splint for a week after returning home and would be off for a further two until the pain had subsided. 

Matt brought her assignments over every day so she didn't fall behind.   
  
Like clockwork, Matt would arrive at 4pm every afternoon to deliver Alex's homework. He knocked on the door for the first three days. After the fourth day, he would just let himself in. Alex's mother would greet him warmly upon his arrival in the kitchen and Alex would make him a cup of tea and offer a few extra biscuits with her gratitude.  
  
On the 8th day, he arrives an hour early due to football practice being cancelled. Alex's mum is not in the kitchen. He finds it odd but figures that she probably went out to buy groceries. He had been drinking a lot of tea. Perhaps they'd run out.   
  
"Alex?" He calls into the house. He receives no answer and decides that it would probably be alright to leave the work on her desk for her to find when she arrives home from wherever she is.

He walks up the stairs and treads softly along the landing.  _'Third door on the right,'_ he mutters as he walks.  He could pretty much navigate the way to her bedroom door in the dark by now.  

The door is slightly ajar and he pushes it open, nothing looks out of place upon first inspection and he moves over to the wooden writing desk to deposit the paper he is holding. He hears footsteps behind him and turns around to greet whichever Kingston is approaching but is not, however, expecting to see a naked Alex standing, wide eyed and in shock. 

"ALEX!" He wails and then spins around on the spot, covering his eyes with the homework. "I am so sorry!" 

"Matt, what are you doing here? You almost gave me a bloody heart attack!" Alex wails. 

"Practice was cancelled so I came straight here. I thought nobody was home and I was going to leave your work on the desk and _oh my god_ -"  his ears feel hot and his face is now a bright scarlet. 

Alex quickly pulls on the sun dress that she had laid out on the bed - apparently before her shower - and then coughs politely to signal it was safe to turn around. 

"Alex I am so sorry." He apoligises again. He can't even make eye contact and instead, looks at her chest which is even worse because he now knows what is concealed beneath the thin layer of fabric. 

"Matt? Shut up." She laughs throatily. "You do remember what I do for a living, don't you? Now stop looking at my chest, my face is up here." She teases and his eyes immediately snap to her face. 

"Oh! Your splint is gone!" he observes excitedly, quickly changing the subject, and she beams. There is still some bruising but she looks positively radiant to him. 

"There's a bit of a bump there now but it's not awful," she notes. 

"I think it makes you look more distinguished," Matt observes. "Like a Greek Goddess." 

Alex eyes him suspiciously. 

"Well, anyway..." he announces after an awkward pause. "Here's your homework. I better leave you to it." 

"Matt?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Has he been at school? James, I mean." She shifts her stature nervously, worrying her bottom lip. 

Matt huffs out a laugh. "Nah, he got expelled. Apparently someone dobbed him in to the principal," he replied smugly. 

Alex gasps, a small smile playing on her lips. "You never!"  

"I had some help," he admitted and she gazed at him in confusion. "Harry. After all that, he finally got a guilty conscience, I suppose." He shrugs. "Anyway, the important thing is that James won't be a problem for you anymore."

Alex throws herself into his arms. "Thank you so much. For _everything_ ," she says and then gives him a quick peck on the cheek. 

"It was my pleasure, Kingston," he mutters, pressing a feather-light kiss to the top of her bushy head.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have you know that writing speech that fits with a broken nose is really difficult and an extreme brain exercise for me. 10/10 writers do not recommend! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed my little nose-bump back story! I know it was actually genetics but I thought it was a pretty fluffy addition.... After the initial blood and pain part, that is...


	4. Snapshots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she arrives upon the Smith's doorstep, she knocks enthusiastically and steps back. She hears a scuffle just behind the door and it flies open to reveal Matt wrestling against a young woman with dark hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise but I'm posting from my phone again. I'll fix it at my next convenience. In the meantime, please don't hate me.

It is Saturday.

It's as fine a Saturday as any but this one is special. It is for this reason that she finds herself in the kitchen baking. She's spilled flour across every surface and half a carton of eggs were already lost to the floor but she soldiers on. It took her an hour longer than it should have but finally, she removes the chocolate sponge cake from the oven. It's a little burnt around the edges but she figures she can cut those parts off, cover it with cream and nobody will be any the wiser.

 

When she arrives upon the Smith's doorstep, she knocks enthusiastically and steps back. She hears a scuffle just behind the door and it flies open to reveal Matt wrestling against a young woman with dark hair.

 

"Hello, you must be Alex." The strange girl pants as Matt  tickles her into submission. Matt quickly releases her and straightens up.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you." He chuckles.

"Yeah, I just wanted to bring this 'round." She holds the plastic cake container up in front of her. "I thought we could have afternoon tea. Oh! Happy Birthday, by the way," she beams, offering him the cake.

"Chocolate and cream? My favourite! How'd you know?" He grins as he accepts the container and invites her inside.

"It's nice to meet you," the stranger says and she pulls Alex into a sudden hug. "I'm Laura, by the way. Matty hasn't shut up about you since I got here," she laughs.

 Matt glowers at her and hisses. "Lor, I will kill you." 

The girls giggle. 

"Mum's just popped out to pick up a few things for dinner later, will you be staying?" Laura queries.

Alex shrugs. Laura looks at Matt and slaps his arm scornfully. "Don't tell me you didn't invite her?!"

Matt makes an 'I forgot to ask, am I forgiven?' face at Alex and she smiles at him endearingly.

Laura jabs him in the ribs. "Well, go on!" she hisses into his ear.

He rolls his eyes and she nudges him again. "Alex," he begins - "It's a bit short notice but would you like to stay for dinner tonight?" He shuffles on the spot awkwardly and Alex eyes him with uncertainty. "I'd really love it if you could," he finishes quickly.

Alex grins widely and accepts his belated invitation.

 

\--

 

The cake goes down a treat and they all sit around the table exchanging stories about ridiculous things that Matt has done. Alex now knows about the time he took a pair of Laura's green tights and split open his head while pretending to be Peter Pan and another other time she dressed him up as a girl and paraded him around to her friends at a slumber party. Matt sits on the opposite side of the table, blushing and with his head bowed in resignation, while Laura and Alex are in stitches. He refuses to admit it but he loves to see Alex happy so he doesn't actually mind that her laughter is at his expense.

 

Matt and Laura's mum arrives home just over an hour later and finds them all still in the kitchen.

"Good afternoon Mrs Smith," Alex says with a smile.

Lynne offers her a weak smile in return. "Afternoon, Alex! Lovely to see you, dear. You're looking... well," she observes hesitantly.

"Thanks," replies Alex grimly. Though she was certain that Matt's mum was a lovely woman, she always felt so unwelcome in her presence. Matt assured her that it was just her imagination but she couldn't help it.

"Oh mum! Alex brought a cake over for afternoon tea. You should try some," Laura says as she slides the cake in her mother's direction.

Lynne looks down at the cake and purses her lips. "I had lunch with Sandra while I was out. Such a shame, the cake looks lovely dear," she says, fixing a too-sweet smile on Alex before she leaves the room.

The tension between the two was palpable and Laura quickly stands and takes their plates to the sink.

Matt shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "Maybe I should go." Alex offers but Matt leaps from his seat in protest.

"Nonsense, Kingston! It's my birthday and I'd be very offended if you left," he states firmly.

Alex quirks an eyebrow at him and he buckles.

"Well, maybe not offended... But I'd be really upset." He corrects.

"I know it's not my business," Laura interrupts. "But why doesn't mum like you?" she finishes bluntly.

"HA! Told you!" Alex shouts triumphantly.

Matt scowls at his sister and she quickly falls silent.

Alex exhales sharply. "Well, I think it's to do with my job," she explains. Laura looks confused and she continues. "Some evenings, I go to an art class and model... Or I dance..." Laura still looks confused. "Nude."

Laura's eyes widen and she nods in comprehension. "Well, if there's one thing she probably wouldn't approve of, it's that," she says flatly.

"So tell me, does it pay well?" Laura asks after a few moments and they all burst into laughter.

 

 

\---

 

 

Dinner goes well and the next day, Matt finds himself on the Kingston's doorstep holding his latest toy, a new camera. His mum had really gone all out this year, he thinks it's because he would be leaving for college in a few months, and he decided that he'd like to document his life at home before he goes.

 

Alex takes him to a nearby meadow so that she can teach him the ins and outs of photography and he hangs on every word as she teaches him all about shutter speed and focusing the lens.

 

After a small picnic lunch, they lounge on a thick woolen rug that Alex brought along. The sun illuminates her curls perfectly so he sneaks a few shots of her in before she realises and starts to throw the blades of grass at him.

After the break, Alex takes a few pictures of him dribbling his soccer ball and acting like a pretentious prat, though he insists he looks cool, and soon enough; it's almost twilight and they find themselves laying side by side on the blanket, watching the stars as they begin to flicker into view.

They traipse home in the dark and their shoulders graze so frequently that they can feel each other's body heat as they walk.

When Matt observes that her head looks huge in the darkness, she slaps him hard on the arm and then laughs that deep, infectious laugh of hers causing his heart to clench.

He walks her to her door and she bids him goodnight with a friendly hug. Well, he thinks it's friendly... It could just be wishful thinking... but he's noticed that they seem to linger in this state longer and longer with each passing day.

 

It is then that he realises that he's already half in love with Alex Kingston.

 

 

 


	5. Well, that's an interesting development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today to get things moving. I've formulated the next chapter or two in my head and it'll be exciting!

"Alright, so now we place the negative onto the projector like this... And adjust the height to bring the image into focus..." she pauses until he has finished with that step and then continues. "This will only give you black and white prints but I'll teach you to develop coloured film once you've mastered this. So many chemicals and I know how clumsy you are." She says with a smug smile. 

Matt gasps exaggeratedly. "Me? Clumsy? Well I never!" 

  
Alex chuckles quietly to herself and continues developing film.   
  
By the end of their trip to the school's dark room, Matt has grasped the basics of black and white film development and Alex hesitantly agrees to teach him how to develop and print a coloured film.   
  
"Of course, you could just take it to a professional to have it done," she observes, but he will have none of it.   
  
He whines in protest. "I want to do  _real_  photography, Kingston!" 

She rolls her eyes at him.   

 

\--- 

  
It's 7am and the whole house is woken by frantic knocking on the door. Nicola walks sluggishly to answer it and finds a very excited Matt bouncing from one foot to the other and waving a piece of paper in his hand.   
  
"Is Alex in?" He jumps up and down excitedly on the doorstep and Nicola steps aside, pointing upstairs in a sleepy daze.

Matt bounds up the stairs two at a time and arrives at her bedroom door and knocks about a dozen times in quick succession before they rouse her from her sleep like a jackhammer at the window.

She makes a mental note to murder whoever it is on the other side for waking her up this early on a Saturday. Scowling and still half asleep, she opens the door and Matt instantly grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her backward on to her bed.   
  
"I'm in, Kingston! I got in!" He's still yelling and waving the letter in her face and she stares at him, still half asleep and confused. "I got into the English Institute of Sport in Manchester! Can you believe it?!"   
  
Alex remains silent while she processes the information for a moment, then launches off the bed to hug him. "Oh my god, darling! That's wonderful news! When do you leave?"   
  
"End of term," he beams. "I've got enough credit to graduate early and start next semester," he says proudly.   
  
Alex's face falls and she turns away.

 

An emotion niggles at the back of her mind and she can't quite pick it. Sadness? Yes, of course. He's her best friend and she'll miss him. But no, that's not it. He's just a friend that she's grown to care for very much, right?

_Or is it more?_

"Alex?"   
  
"Mhm?"   
  
"Aren't you happy for me?"   
  
She plasters a wide smile onto her face _._

_'You want to be an actress, Alex. Well, act' _.__

 

"Of course I am, darling. I’m thrilled," she lies. 


	6. To alter favour ever is to fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you sure you still want to do this," Alex whispers to him as they bustle about the stage to put the final touches on their set. 
> 
> Matt steps up behind her and turns her to face him, grasping her by the shoulders. 
> 
> "Yes I'm sure, now stop worrying. It's going to be brilliant," he affirms and she smiles weakly. "Besides, it's too late go back now. We never made a backup plan," he chuckles. "Now just go with the flow. All organic - just like you said," he says reassuringly and she nods.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Alex whispers as they bustle about the stage to put the final touches on their set.   
  
Matt steps up behind her and turns her to face him, grasping her by the shoulders.   
  
"Yes I'm sure, now stop worrying. It's going to be _brilliant._ " Alex smiles weakly at his affirmation and he continues. "Besides, it's too late go back now. We never made a backup plan." He chuckles. "Now just go with the flow. All organic - just like you said."

Alex nods.   
  
\--  
  
The light is dim. The room is silent. Alex stands alone in front of the class, a lone spotlight and a few lamps light a set which vaguely resembles a sitting room. She is dressed in a pleated dress, her hair is neatly pinned and her lips are painted a crisp, crimson red. She clasps her husband's letter in her hand.   
  
The door on stage left opens and Matt steps through. They hadn't done a dress rehearsal beforehand so the costumes were new to each of them and her breath catches in her throat at the sight of him in military attire. He crosses the room in three long strides and they embrace frantically, his hands inch quickly from her hips to clasp her face.   
  
"Thy letters have transported me beyond this ignorant present, and I feel now the future in the instant," Alex utters.   
  
Matt carefully punctuates his line with kisses. "My dearest love," he murmurs into the crook of her neck. She looks up to him, a sly smile playing on her lips. Her hands find the buttons on his coat and she quickly unfastens them and discards it on the nearby chair.

"Duncan comes here tonight." Matt whispers frantically into her ear.   
  
Alex scowls but continues to undress him as they speak. "And when goes hence?"    
  
He pulls her toward the nearby wall, turning her so her back rests upon it. She unclasps his belt and he quickly unbuttons his trousers as he speaks.   
  
"Tomorrow, as he purposes." He growls, hoisting the skirt of her dress up her thighs and lifts her from the ground. Alex wraps her legs around his hips and moans throatily, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as she undulates slowly upon him.   
  
"O, never shall sun that morrow see," she hisses. "Your face, my thane, is as a book where men may read strange matters," she pants as she grinds. "To beguile the time, look like the time, bear welcome in your eye, your hand, your tongue -" she kisses him deeply and with abandon and then pulls away to continue - "look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under't."   
  
One of his hands find their way into her skirt as she rides him and she hums loudly in contentment.

He gasps quietly and she smirks so that only he can see. His hand gropes on her thigh and she continues to expertly deliver her lines.   
  
"He that's coming must be provided for and you shall put this night's great business into my dispatch which shall, to all our nights and days to come -" the pace of the thrusting quickens and she breathes heavily to match - "give solely sovereign sway and masterdom," she moans loudly, huffing and gasping into his shoulder.   
  
Matt gives a shuddering groan and then lowers her down to meet his eye as he speaks.   
  
"We will speak further," he pants breathlessly.  
  
Alex nods shakily.   
  
"Only look up clear. To alter favour ever is to fear."   
  
She clasps his face with her hands and kisses him deeply once more and then draws back but leaves one hand upon his cheek - her thumb ghosting over his lips.   
  
"Leave all the rest to me," she finishes and the light fades to black.   
  
  
The class remains in silent shock for a moment. Matt and Alex stand beaming at each other, still flushed and panting. Mrs Patterson is first to speak.   
  
"Well, that was - _different_  ..." is all she can manage.   
  
\---   


 

"Disgusting," the principal's voice booms. " _Absolutely disgusting_."   
  
  
Matt and Alex sit side by side in the principal's office, their respective mothers standing behind them.   
  
"I'm sorry, but what exactly have they done wrong?" Mrs Kingston asks casually. Alex tilts her head back and smiles at her mother.  
  
Mr Ferguson clears his throat to regain Alex's attention and then continues. "It's my understanding that your children performed a very... _graphic depiction_... of the play Macbeth during class." 

Alex smirks at Matt who stifles a laugh.   
  
Lynne's gaze snaps in the direction of her son and she scowls in confusion. "In class? But you don't take drama.”  
  
Matt grimaces. "Actually mum, I do. I switched out of geography weeks ago."   
  
"But _why_?"  
  
"I just didn't find it interesting," Matt shrugs.   
  
"Didn't find it - Matthew, you'll _need_ to know about all these places when you're playing football!" Lynne counters insistently.   
  
Matt shifts awkwardly in his seat and grumbles. "Sorry mum, my heart just wasn't in it."  
  
"Yeah, well I'll bet she was at the helm," she jerks her head toward Alex. "You'd never perform something so _obscene_ without her dragging you into it," she says coldly. Alex keeps her head down and picks at her fingernails nervously.   
  
"Actually, it was my idea." Matt replies flatly through gritted teeth.   
  
Lynne's face drains almost completely of colour. She opens her mouth to speak but no words will form.

The room is uncomfortably quiet until Alex's mum finally breaks the silence. "I still don't understand why we're here," Margarethe states plainly. "They followed the assignment."   
  
Matt smiles gratefully in her direction and she smiles warmly in return, giving her daughter an encouraging rub on the shoulder.   
  
"It isn't a matter of following the set guidelines," begins Mr Ferguson gruffly. "It's the _nature_ of the performance -" he emphasizes the word nature with a wide handed gesture and Alex giggles quietly.   
  
"This is not a laughing matter Ms Kingston. Performances of this nature have no place in school. Mrs Patterson has informed me that she will not be marking this performance." He finishes sternly.   
  
Matt and Alex make simultaneous sounds of protest.  
  
"Sir, that's not fair! We put in far more work in than any of the others!"  Alex shouts and Matt jabs a finger in her direction, nodding in agreement.   
  
"Be that as it may, the performance was inappropriate. If you want to be physical onstage, leave it for a West End production," he barks. 

 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. I have a big update coming tomorrow if all goes according to plan! Please enjoy the calm before the storm.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title and depicted scene are taken from Macbeth Act 1, Scene 5.


	7. All the king's horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On this particular afternoon, practice was almost postponed due to rain. The sun, however, had come out before long and practice could resume. The stands were virtually deserted, save for a few of the boy's girlfriends and parents who were waiting for practice to be over. Alex usually sat alone and did her homework or watched the game mindlessly. She had a vague idea what was going on - she was British after all - but really, she only cared when Matt had the ball. She found his excitement when he had the ball so adorable that she couldn't look away. She watches as he weaves through the other players, maneuvering his feet just so, and blocking them from taking the ball - His smile wide and his hair bouncing about his face as he runs. She could see that this was his passion: His dream. Her mind wanders back to the thought of him leaving and she sighs.

Competitive sports have never been of particular interest to Alex but she enjoyed watching Matt play football. Some days after school, she would hang back and wait for him to finish practice so they could walk home together.   
  
On this wet Tuesday, practice had almost been postponed due to the dismal weather. The sun, however, had come out during their fifth period of the day and practice could resume. The stands were virtually deserted today, save for a few of the boy's parents who had arrived to pick their boys up but were now an hour early and were now waiting for practice to be over. Alex watched the game mindlessly between homework questions usually. She had a vague idea what was going on - she was British after all - but really, she only cared when Matt had the ball. She found his excitement when he had the ball so adorable that she couldn't look away. She watches as he weaves through the other players, maneuvering his feet just so, and blocking them from taking the ball - His smile wide and hair bouncing about his face as he runs. She could see that this was his passion: His dream. Her mind wanders back to the thought of him leaving and she sighs.   
  
 _'Who am I to stand in the way of his dream?'_  
  
Moments later, she is distracted from her thoughts by a loud yell on the field.   
  
"Smith! Look out!" Yells Mr Anderson, the P.E Teacher.    
  
Matt is running very fast, too fast to come to a complete halt, as is one of his teammates. He skids along the still-wet grass, flailing his arms to his sides as he skids to a halt, then turns to give a prematurely reassuring smile to the lads.

His plan would have worked, had O'Brien been fast enough to do the same.

He was not.

He collided with Matt at great speed and with such force that his body was momentarily airborne. Alex looked on as his body flew in slow motion. His arms flailed in the air and she could see that he was attempting to tuck and roll but he wasn't quick enough. He regained contact with the ground with an almighty thud, head first. Alex leaped from her seat, screaming.   
  
"MATT!"   
  
She runs as fast as she can to reach his side. The team were already surrounding him when she arrived on the scene and she is forced to push her way through the crowd. She kneels down behind his head and takes it in her hands to stabilize his neck. He yells in agony but she knows a thing or two about first aid in the event of bad falls thanks to observing her parents caring for Susie, her disabled sister. "I know it hurts but you have to keep as still as you can just in case you've damaged your spine," she sobs. "Someone call an ambulance." She demands shakily and the coach runs from the field. "It's alright, Matt. The ambulance will be here soon,” she reassures him.   
  
She tries to distract him by reciting her favourite poems and he gives a painful chuckle. His breathing is laboured but he forces his words out anyway. "Not – really – the – time – to – get – me – in – the – mood – Kingston -"   
  
"Shut up." she retorts with a watery smile.   
  
"Make – me -" he grimaces.   
  
"The medics are here, make room everyone," yells the coach and the team moves away to allow them in. They carefully apply a neck brace and thank Alex for acting so quickly to stabilize him before they arrived. Matt wails loudly as they slide the stretcher underneath his back and strap him on, then they slowly move toward the ambulance.   
  
"Alex," Matt groans. "Want – you – to – come -"   
  
Alex nods and collects her belongings hurriedly, then joins him and one of the medics in the back of the ambulance. The ride to the hospital is a short one and Matt is quickly taken in for assessment.   
  
She sits alone in the waiting room for what seems like an eternity. She's unable to concentrate on her homework and takes up pacing about the room, walking to one end, looking down the busy hall, then returning to her seat and repeating every few minutes. The last time she had even left the room was when Lynne asked her, in an unexpectedly civil manner, to call Laura and tell her to come home as soon as she could. She did as she was asked, of course, and then resumed her vigil. Her dad came in to collect her after a few hours but she refused to leave, instead accepting a plate of sandwiches he bought from the hospital cafeteria and then waving him off as he trod down the hall.   
  
\---  
  
  
It had now been 6 hours since the accident and she was becoming increasingly worried. _'What if it's really bad? What if he's in a coma? What if he never wakes up?'_ she thinks fretfully. She was just about to begin her umpteenth pacing session when a nurse appeared outside the door to the ward.   
  
"Alex Kingston?"   
  
She looked up with a start.   
  
"He'd like to see you," says the nurse, holding the large door open and indicating for her to follow.   
  
She is led down the long corridor, past the nurse's station and along another corridor lined with doors to patient's rooms. The nurse pauses in front of a room and smiles reassuringly. Alex thanks her quietly and then pushes the door open.   
  
When she enters, she sees Lynne first and gives a weak smile. Lynne has clearly been crying but still acknowledges her presence and gives a tired smile in return. Matt's neck is still in a brace and his face is battered and bruised. He struggles to look in her direction momentarily and then he grunts in pain.  
  
"Don't strain yourself, remember what the Doctor said." Lynne warns and he stills.   
  
Alex moves to his bedside and gives him a sad smile. "How are you?"   
  
"I feel like I've been hit by a truck," he says, smiling weakly. "But I suppose that's to be expected."   
  
Alex nods solemnly and places her hand upon his.   
  
"Mum, can you check if Laura has arrived yet?"  
  
Lynne looks from Alex to Matt, then back to Alex in a silent plea for her to look after him. Alex nods with a small smile and she bustles out of the room leaving the visitor's seat free for her to sit at his bedside.   
  
"You scared the hell out of me, you know?" Her voice is still shaky and she isn't certain whether it's because she's close to tears or because she hasn't spoken aloud for several hours. Perhaps it's a mixture of both, she thinks.   
  
"Well we're even now," he says smugly and she rolls her eyes.   
  
"Have you heard anything from the doctors yet?"   
  
"They say they're confident that I'll walk again. I can feel my legs and everything. It hurts to move them but they assure me that's a good sign."   
  
Alex sighs in relief but her eyes glaze over with fresh tears so she looks away, opting to stare at the far wall.   
  
He doesn't even need to be looking her in the eye to sense what she's feeling and he squeezes her hand. "You don't need to worry about me." He says reassuringly.   
  
"I can't help it," she mumbles tearfully. "I just keep seeing you lying there on the ground. I don't think I've ever been so scared." A loud sob escapes her mouth and she covers it with her free hand.   
  
Matt interlaces his fingers with hers and gives a small squeeze. "I promise I'll never worry you like that again." He soothes. 

  
Seconds later, the curtain is pulled open to reveal Lynne has returned with a very distressed Laura in tow. Matt gives a weary smile to his sister and Alex stands aside to allow her next to the bed.   
  
Lynne steps up beside Alex quietly. "Alex, may I have a word?"   
  
Alex looks at the woman, puzzled. "Yeah, sure?"  
  
Lynne moves toward the door and Alex hesitantly follows.  
  
"When I arrived, the doctors said that you applied first aid at the scene," she began and Alex nodded. "The doctors think he's got a fracture in his neck. If he'd so much as bumped shoulders with someone on the street - which is highly probable, it is Matt after all," she says with a laugh. "But in all seriousness, he could have been paralysed -" she pauses for a moment to gather her thoughts and then continues. "You saved my son's life," she says, her eyes filled with tears,  and then pulls Alex into an unexpected hug.   
  
"I also brought you out here because I owe you an apology.” She pauses and takes a deep breath in. “I apologise for being so stand-offish. You have to understand, I'd heard all sorts about you from the other parents. Now I see that I was wrong to judge you. Can you ever forgive me?"   
  
"Of course I can!" Alex beams. 

Lynne embraces Alex tightly, restraining a grateful sob.   
  
Soon, a nurse meets them in the hall and informs them that visiting hours are almost over.   
  
"Alex, would you like to stay the night at our place? Then you could come back early with us in the morning," she offers.

Alex accepts gratefully.

"Would it be any trouble for you to sleep in Matthew's room? I'm too tired to set up the sofa bed tonight." She laughs wearily and pats Alex on the arm.   
  
"That's absolutely fine. I could sleep almost anywhere if I had a blanket, honestly!" Alex chuckles.   
  
They re-enter Matt's room together with wide smiles. Laura eyes them in suspicious silence. "Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real mum and Alex?" Laura asks and the pair burst into laughter.   
  
"We just had a little talk outside is all," Lynne admits. "Oh, we bumped into your nurse too. She says that visiting is over." The three women sigh collectively.   
  
Lynne and Laura say goodnight and move toward the door but Alex hangs behind briefly.   
  
"Your mum apologised to me." She says quietly.   
  
"Really?" Matt tries to sit upright in shock but Alex places her hand on his chest to stop him and he winces.    
  
"Apparently saving your life was all it took," she says sarcastically.   
  
"I should have been trampled sooner," he says with a strained chuckle.   
  
"She also offered to let me stay the night..."   
  
Matt's eyes widen incredulously. "What?!"   
  
"She says I'll be sleeping in your bed..."  
  
“Any excuse,” he retorts suggestively.

 _"Goodniiight"_  is her only comeback as she stalks out of the room. 

 

\---   


They arrive at the Smith house after 9. Alex is still wearing her school clothes and has dried mud down her skirt and legs. Lynne offers to take her to pick up some of her things but it's late and she doesn't want to wake her family. Getting Nicola back to sleep isn't a problem but Susie tends to be quite troublesome.   
  
"You can borrow some of my clothes if you like," offers Laura and she accepts them gratefully.   
  
Soon enough, she's showered and dressed in clean pyjamas. Lynne brings her a cup of tea and some biscuits to have before bed and then they all retire for the night.   
  
Alex enters Matt's room hesitantly. She's been here a hundred times, at least, but she feels a bit like an intruder being here without him. She creeps around all of his belongings so she doesn't displace them and then sits on his bed. It almost feels as though he will walk through the door at any moment and tease her for touching his things but she knows that can't be so she lays down and pushes the blankets aside, bringing the duvet up over her shoulders and curling into the pillow for a sleepless night.   
  
\---   
  
After showering and having a quick breakfast of jam on toast, they arrive at the hospital right on 9.   
  
Matt is still asleep when they arrive so they creep in. Laura has brought in a throw rug in her favourite colour to lay over him and Alex joined in on the fun by adding some doilies to every flat surface available. His teammates would no doubt be visiting today and ensuring his embarrassment was their duty as his sister and best friend. Matt begins to stir and they crowd around.   
  
"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Laura laughs and their mother tuts at her. The specialists and Matt's nurse arrive just behind them. The nurse holds his records and passes them to the male doctor who looks them over and mumbles to the younger woman doctor. The male doctor is first to address them.   
  
"Good morning Matthew, I'm Doctor Hughes. How's the pain this morning-"   
  
"It's alright. I still feel pretty battered and bruised but the pain medication is really helping."   
  
"Good. Could you rate the pain out of 10 for me?"   
  
Matt hums in contemplation and then informs the doctor that it's a 5 right now.   
  
"Hmm, the nurse can bring something for that in a moment." He says, moving to the foot end of the bed and lifting the covers. "Can you move your toes for me, please?"   
  
Matt wiggles his toes with a grimace and the doctor has the woman doctor write it down.   
  
"Doctor -" interrupts Lynne. "Have you had a chance to review the x-rays just yet?"   
  
The doctor nods. "Ah, yes. As we suspected, there is a fracture in your spine. Now here is the part where I must ask: would you like the good news first or the bad news?"  
  
Matt looks to his mother who then asks for the good news.   
  
"The good news is that it's not too bad and will feel better after a few weeks rest and some painkillers. Once the pain has settled, you'll need to see a physiotherapist for some rehabilitation," he says. "Additionally, your neck is completely fine so we can take that brace off."   
  
"So, what's the bad news then -" he asks nervously.   
  
"I'm afraid that it would be in your best interests if you didn't play competitive football for the foreseeable future. The fracture itself isn't too bad but if you were to have another collision like this one, you may not be so lucky," he says solemnly.   
  
Matt looks away from the group and Lynne clasps a hand over her mouth. "Will I be able to play at all?" He asks, his voice is even. Too even, Alex thinks, and she frowns.    
  
"As long as it's in a non-contact setting and you're very mindful of the condition of your spine, then yes. That should be alright."   
  
His face softens slightly in relief. "Wow, alright." He pauses in thought. "I suppose I have a lot to think about then, don't I?" He laughs nervously and the doctor nods.   
  
Before the nurse and Doctors leave, the doctor removes the neck brace and the nurse elevates Matt's back rest so he is in a sitting position.   
  
"Well, I suppose that was sort of good news?" he says in an effort to break the tension.   
  
They all nod awkwardly in response.   
  
"Come on guys, it could be worse. He could have said I'll never walk again," he says brightly and Alex smiles at the floor. "And besides, he didn't say I'd never play, he just said no contact. So I can't be as rough and tumble as I used to be, who cares? I'm young and healthy for all intents and purposes. Something else will come along!" he says in an effort to reassure the room.

  
Alex suspects that he's saying these things in an effort to benefit himself more than the others but she says nothing. 

“And by the way, what are all of these things doing here?“ he says as he gestures to his new décor.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a difficult one to write because I know nothing about football or spinal injuries. I hope it was at least slightly accurate and you enjoyed it. It was quite a lot longer than the last few updates. I can't promise that they'll all be this length from this point but I'll try and get a few longer ones in there!


	8. Merry Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the fluff! Enjoy!

Alex had been spending a fair bit of time with Laura now that she'd returned for the foreseeable future so it didn't take long for her to pick up on the latent feelings between Alex and her brother. A blind man could see that they were besotted with each other. 

Suffice to say, they were both driving her mad. 

She finally became so fed up that on Tuesday evening she stormed outside and accosted Alex before she had even entered the garden gate 

"Right, I can't take it anymore. You love him and there's no point denying it." 

Alex is so mortified that she almost trips on the garden edging as she closes the gate. "I'm sorry -" she grimaces. 

"You know perfectly well what I mean, now out with it. You love him, don't you?" 

Alex doesn't protest. 

"I knew it! Are you going to tell him?" 

"I can't, he's my best friend -" 

"I used to have a best friend who looked at me the way he looks at you and we ended up dating for 2 years." 

"But that's different, your friend didn't just have a life altering accident -" 

"What difference does that make?" 

Alex looks away with a sigh. "I wanted to tell him - before any of this happened - but then he got the scholarship and it would have felt like I was trying to make him stay. I didn't want to stop him from following his dreams," she explains. 

Laura nods in comprehension. 

"So why can't you tell him now?" 

"Because I don't want him to think that it's because I feel sorry for him -" 

"So you're just going to let him go on thinking you don't feel the same way?" 

"Well, as far as I know, he doesn't feel the same. He hasn't said anything to the contrary so can you let it go?" 

"Oh, not a chance," Laura promises. "I won't rest until it's not safe to leave you both alone in a room -" she chuckles. 

\--- 

 

After dinner, Alex goes home and Laura helps Matt back to his room to get ready for bed. 

"So... Alex looked nice tonight -" 

"Yeah? I didn't notice," he lies. 

It's strange how the pair share the same genes but look barely alike as siblings. There is only one thing about their appearance that makes their relationship apparent and that is their smirk. The smirk which is currently plastered on Laura's face. 

Matt blushes under her all-knowing gaze and looks away. 

"Well?" 

"Well what?" 

"Oh come on, I'm not an idiot -" 

Matt tries his best to look innocent but soon breaks under the pressure. 

"Alright, I noticed. I always do," he sighs. 

"Well why haven't you done something about it then?" 

Matt scowls at her in irritation. "Because she's my friend. She doesn't think of me that way -" 

"No, you think she doesn't think of you in that way. Do you honestly think someone who didn't care about you in that way would rush to your aid and recite you love poems -" she points out sarcastically. 

Matt opens and closes his mouth several times to speak but says nothing. 

"I thought so," she cackles. "So, what are you going to do about it?" 

"I can't ask her out right now. I don't want her to take pity on me for basically being crippled," he sighs. 

"You two are more alike than you realise, you know -" Laura observes. 

\---

"Merry Christmas," she exclaims as she bursts into his room. 

Matt groans and rolls onto his side, pulling the pillow over his face as he goes. 

"It's 11 o'clock for heaven's sake," she hisses as she tears the blanket from his unenthusiastic form. 

"Ten more minutes," he mumbles in response as he reaches for the blanket.

"My family are having Christmas lunch in half an hour and mum sent me to ask if you wanted to come along. Such a shame," she says in mock disappointment and Matt moves into a sitting position. 

"Well, I wouldn't want to be rude now -" 

Alex rolls her eyes. "That's more like it." She picks a shirt up off of the pile of folded clothing on his desk and tosses it at his head. "Get dressed, I'll wait downstairs." 

 

It's been just over a month since his accident and Matt has regained most of his mobility. He's a lot slower than he once was, opting now for walking rather than bouncing about like the floor is lava, but he's glad to be out of bed and feeling independent again. He hobbles downstairs a few minutes later wearing a pair of brown trousers and an ugly knitted jumper. He moves to retrieve his scarf and coat from the rack but Alex stops him. 

"I think now would be an appropriate time to give you this," she says as she passes him a package wrapped in butcher's paper and string. "Sorry about the wrapping, I only finished it this morning -" she blushes.

"Oh Kingston, you shouldn't have -" 

"It's not much, honestly -" she assures him and he moves to the sideboard to open the paper. 

 

As he is opening the wrapping, half of the contents spill out into a pile on the floor and he soon realises that he is now holding the longest scarf he has ever seen and grins widely. 

Alex gives a nervous giggle. "I got a bit carried away, I'm afraid -" 

"I love it! It reminds me of Doctor Who," he chuckles and brings her in for a tight hug. When he releases her, he motions for her to wait and he moves toward the living room. He returns moments later, holding a red gift bag and holds it out to her. 

"What's this?" 

Matt smiles endearingly. "Open it and find out -" 

Alex places the bag on the nearby counter and peers inside, then pulls out a rectangular package. It's wrapped a lot better than hers was - Matt makes a point of telling her that Laura did it for him because he's hopeless. She feels surprisingly better - and then she carefully pulls the tape off and unfolds the paper. 

Inside is a photograph of her in a simple silver frame. 

"Oh Matt. When did you -" 

"That day in the field, I snapped it while you were laughing at me being an idiot but you didn't notice. It's my favourite picture of you," he says with a soft smile. 

Alex's eyes moisten and she looks up to him reverently. "Thank you -" 

Matt takes her in his arms, resting his head upon her hair. Alex nestles into his chest and unconsciously hums in contentment. 

"Merry Christmas, Alex -" 

"Merry Christmas, Matt -" 

 

\---


	9. I see something special in you

When Matt returns to school after the Christmas break, he changes his class schedule to accommodate his injury. For the first few weeks, it feels bittersweet seeing his former classmates heading down to the sporting oval for P.E while he heads off to art class but he knows that it is for the best. He does find one up side of now being in the senior art class though - sharing a table with Alex.

Seeing her in her element, covered in pastels or paint with a look of concentration on her face as she is hunched over her sketchbook, is one of his favourite things to do each day.

Another thing he finds he enjoys about the class is that though he'd never considered himself to be particularly creative, Mr Collins seemed to think that he was some kind of artistic genius. Every scribble he lay down on paper was a masterpiece which _'perfectly depicted the struggles of finding oneself on a new path_ ' and it drove Alex absolutely bonkers.

Collins once suggested in passing that he take his drawing class after school to further develop his keen eye. He heard Alex gasp quietly and gave her a wink in response - she promptly retaliated by throwing an eraser at his head.

 

\--

 

When Matt first began taking Drama class, he had done so purely for the fact that he thought it would be easier than Geography. He had never been particularly interested in the performing arts before but he found that now he had more time to dedicate to learning and practicing lines, that he actually quite liked it. The concept of becoming someone new each day was thrilling and he found that he was growing more confident in himself and his abilities.

Mrs Patterson held him after class one afternoon, asking if she could have a quick word.

Matt stood by her desk and waited for the class to filter out. 

"I'll just wait outside," Alex called but he shook his head.

"No, you go. Nicola will be waiting -" he insists and she nods. 

Alex waves as she turns to go. "I'll see you in the morning then -"  

"Yeah -" he calls out behind her with a small smile. 

 

"Matthew -" Mrs Patterson made her way up beside him and he turns to face her. "I wanted to have a chat to you about something." He shifts the weight on his feet uncomfortably and she continues. 

"I just wanted to tell you that I've been very impressed with your performance these past few weeks. You have a natural ability that I haven't seen for a long time, not since young Alex arrived -" she says with a smile.

He furrows his brow in contemplation of her words and she continues. "The accident must have brought out this raw talent, forced you to refocus your energies -" she pauses as he mulls it over. "I don't make this recommendation to all students but I see something special in you. I think you should pursue it."  

He'd never agreed with anything she had to say until this point but he could almost feel the gears in his head start clicking into place. He nodded and thanked her for her guidance and then walked out the door. 

 

\--

 

When he arrived home from school, he abandoned his bag on the bottom step. "Matthew Smith, don't you dare leave that there -" calls a voice from the kitchen. He gives a small chuckle and hangs it on the hook by the door instead, then walks through the entry hall to meet his mother in the kitchen.

She turns from placing dinner in the oven and dusts off her hands on her apron. "Hello sweetheart, how was school -" she asks and he sighs.

"I'm having a bit of a crisis," he says bluntly. Lynne looks at him, puzzled and he continues. "I used to think that football was all I wanted to do with my life but then the accident happened and..." he trails off.

"What is it, love?"

He sighs again and pokes at the gaps between tiles on the floor. "Well... It's been a couple of months and - don't miss it like I thought I would -" he quickly finishes. His mother nods and he begins rationalising his thoughts aloud. "I'm doing really well in school and I have a lot more time to do other things -"

"You say that like it's a bad thing -"

"It's not," he replies quickly. "I just - I think I've found something else now. Something I'm really good at." He looks up to meet his mother's gaze and she's intrigued so he presses on. "I think I want to be an actor."

She raises her brow in surprise. "An actor?" 

"Yeah," he responds, beaming. "I've had more time to concentrate on drama class lately and - well, I think I really like it - enough to pursue it, I mean."

Lynne is silent in contemplation for a moment and then breaks into a wide grin. "Oh Matthew, I think that would be absolutely brilliant! I always knew there was a sensitive artist in there somewhere -" she teases, pulling him in for a smothering of kisses on his face. He flails and yells in protest but she laughs heartily and continues.

" _Aaaaghh mum, that's disgusting_ -"

 

His sleep is restless that night. He tosses and turns in part excitement and part nerves. He's over the first proverbial hurdle, telling his mum, but that's not the biggest challenge. No, what's worrying him is far more difficult. Ever since he met Alex, he's known that it's been her dream to go to drama school and become an actress. How will she take it when he tells her that he thinks it's his dream too?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short filler, sorry! I'll update with more once it's written. I only have one child at home today so I shouldn't be quite as distracted!
> 
> Enjoy!


	10. The revelation

Matt is oddly silent on their way to school the next morning and Alex can't seem to work out why. He seems like something is playing on his mind and despite her gentle probing for a response, he has remained tight-lipped.

Alex throws her hands in the air. "Alright, I've tried to be patient but I can't take it anymore," she huffs. "Why are you being so quiet?"

Matt's head snaps to her and her first impression is that he looks like he's about to have a coronary. "I - um - nothing," he quickly responds.

She shakes her head in disbelief but says nothing.

The rest of the day continues in much the same way. Matt remains quiet and evasive and Alex continues guessing.

It isn't until drama class that she finally hears the truth. "Matt, could I have a word," Mrs Patterson calls as they walk in. He shrugs and remains at the front of the room while Alex moves to her seat.

"Have you been considering my suggestion?" Matt glances quickly at Alex and then back to Mrs Patterson and then nods. She claps her hands together excitedly and then reaches for her desk drawer. "Oh good! I went to the liberty of getting you these," she says excitedly as she passes over pamphlets and application forms and he quickly stuffs them into his satchel.

"I really think this would do you good," she says firmly and he nods, then turns and rushes to his seat.

Alex stares in silence for a moment. She knows what he's been given. She has looked over that pamphlet often enough to know it by heart.

"So that's it then? She wants you to try out for RADA?"

Matt casts his eyes downward and nods.

"You don't need to hide that from me, you know? I'd be absolutely thrilled to have you there with me," she says, beaming.

Matt looks up with a wide grin. "Really?"

"Yes, of course! What did you think I would say?"

Matt shrugs and mumbles something she doesn't quite catch but she distinctly hears "your dream" and she rolls her eyes.

"Matt, you don't need to tiptoe around me. I'm not such a diva that I can't handle someone else taking the limelight," she chuckles.

Matt exhales in relief. "I'm so glad you understand. I'd never even considered it but Mrs Patterson seems to think I have something worth sharing," he shrugs.

Alex places a hand upon his forearm and squeezes. "That's because you do -" she says firmly and he smiles.

"You really think so?"

"Absolutely -"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slight delay and short chapter! My entire family have been sick and writing at length in these conditions is virtually impossible haha! 
> 
> Please enjoy!


	11. Confidence matters

The next few weeks were spent in what seemed like one perpetual practice session. Matt and Alex barely spent time together and even when they did, he barely registered to her thanks to her preferred learning method.

Alex's technique was very interesting to witness; she would simply close herself off to all distractions and act, no matter where she was. In the times when Matt would find himself distracted from his work, he would watch her as she passionately enacted one character or another.

For their audition, they were required to prepare one classical and one contemporary English performance. Shakespeare had always been a walk in the park for Alex. She somehow managed to find a way to relate to the character, no matter how vague or broad her interpretation. That teamed with her booming voice and strong annunciation were always a winning combination. It was the more realistic characters with whom she shared no similarity that she struggled with.

This time, it was Patsy- a young and in love woman with an emotionally vacant man, begging for him to let her care for him like a wife should- that had her almost completely stumped. Over and over she would run the same lines _: 'You’ve got me whining, begging and crying. I’ve never behaved like this in my life -'_ she smacks herself in the face with her script. "UGH, this woman is an imbecile!"

Matt quietly chuckles into his notes and she glowers at him over her own.

Matt lowers his script to address her. "If you hate the character so much, why did you choose that play?"

Alex huffs in frustration. "Because Mrs Patterson says it fits the criteria -"

Matt exhales slowly, shaking his head. "And if Mrs Patterson told you to paint yourself green and run onstage naked, would you -" he asks with a smirk.

She hums in contemplation. "If it would get my into RADA -" she replies nonchalantly. Matt's jaw drops and she laughs, then slaps him playfully on the arm. "Idiot, I'm only kidding -"

\--

A few hours following Alex's outburst, Matt yawns and rubs his red eyes. Alex has since learned all of her lines, she's just working on delivery and blocking.

"Why do I need to do two pieces -" he moans, throwing himself face first onto the bed. "Every time I try to memorize one, it gets mixed up with with the other. I'm completely hopeless -" he mumbles into the pillow.

"Matthew, if I hear one more negative word from your mouth, I'm going to come over there and slap you -" she snaps.

He lifts his head to look at her. "You wouldn't -"

She arches an eyebrow. "Watch me -" she challenges with a smug smile.

Matt turns onto his back but clasps the pillow to his chest. "You don't understand, Alex! I can't go up there and mix up Shakespeare! I'd be a laughing stock -" he wails.

"If you go up there with this little confidence, you'll have no chance from the get-go -" she counters. "Confidence matters."

Matt tosses the pillow aside and perches on the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. "That's easy for you to say, you've already learned both of yours -"

Alex rolls her eyes at him. "Just do what I do; stand up and act it out. It looks a bit silly but it always helps me -" she assures him.

Matt bows his head in resignation and stands _._

_"If that thy father live, let him repent Thou wast not made his daughter; and be thou sorry...."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay! We've been hit with wave two of our crazy flu season. I hope you enjoyed this one and as usual, I'll be back when I can! 
> 
> Alex's lines are an excerpt from Little Murders by Jules Feiffer
> 
> Matt's are from Act 3, Scene 13 of Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare


	12. The journey

Matt and Alex had prepared for months for this journey. Matt had awoken much earlier than he'd intended and Alex hadn't really slept at all.

They begin their morning separately but meet at the station with their respective families to catch the train to London. Lynne and Margarethe embrace their children warmly and shower them with embarrassing kisses. Alex's dad, Anthony, smiles and stands back slightly to take photos on Matt's camera at his request.

Soon enough, the train had arrived at the platform and they were stepping aboard, waving as they went. Matt placed their bags in the overhead compartment and they both took a seat by the window to face each other. Alex sat quietly and stared out of the window for most of the 40 minute trip but Matt bounced his legs up and down nervously. It was a terrible habit of his but he rarely noticed he was doing it. Alex scowled in frustration at the vibrations sent through the floor to her feet and eventually became fed up enough to place her hand upon his knee to stop him.

Matt looks up to her, blushing. "Sorry, nervous -" Alex nods and looks away quickly. The rest of the ride goes relatively quickly and they find themselves waiting at Kings Cross before they know it.

"AHHH -" screeches a voice from behind and they turn simultaneously to see Laura barreling toward them with her arms outstretched. "You made it! I'm so glad you're here -" she exclaims as she takes them both into a hug, causing Alex to grimace.

She loved Laura but her enthusiasm was far too loud for this time of day. Matt looked to Alex sympathetically and gave her a small smile which she acknowledged gratefully and then the three set off toward Laura's car.

They would be staying at Laura's flat for their week long visit and she had set her small flat up to accommodate the both of them. On the way to the car, Laura links her arm with Alex's and they discuss sleeping arrangements.

"Right, so Matt will take the sofa and we'll share my bed -"

"But I'm your brother, I should have the bed -" Matt whined.

"And have your boy germs all over the place? No thanks -" Laura retorts, rolling her eyes. "And besides, if you're sleeping in there how will we talk about you behind your back?" Alex squeezes Laura's arm tightly, eliciting a soft chuckle from her escort.

Matt crosses his arms and mumbles obscenities under his breath.

"What's that? You'd like to find somewhere else to stay?" Laura calls behind them and Alex giggles into her free hand. "Good luck finding somewhere in London for less than £80 at this short notice -"

 "No, I said the couch is fine -" Matt huffs in indignantly.

"I thought so -" Laura replies smugly.

\---

After dinner, Alex and Laura leave an already dozing Matt on the sofa and go to the room to get ready for bed.

"So, you and Matt -" Laura suddenly says and Alex stares at her blankly. "Oh come on, don't tell me I need to spell it out for you?"

"We're just friends -" Alex shrugs.

"Still -" she asks loudly.

"SHH -"

"You see each other every day!"

"So? He doesn't see me that way -"

"So you think," Laura scoffs. "I've already told you how he feels, what's the problem?"

Alex perches on the edge of the bed. "Yes, _you've_ told me -" she sighs. "Matt, on the other hand, hasn't said or done a thing to indicate the slightest romantic feeling toward me and I'd prefer not to make a fool of myself -" she says firmly.

Laura curses silently and then closes the topic with a frustrated _'Fine'_.

They soon roll over and fall asleep or, in Alex's case, pretend to sleep.

\--

The next morning, Alex and Matt pack their bags and Laura drives them to the RADA campus. The car ride is an unusually silent one filled with nervous tension. Alex is sitting with her nose stuck inside her script to avoid another confrontation with Laura and Matt is quietly mumbling lines - his face contorted like he's in intense agony.

When they arrive, they hop out of the car. Matt leans over at the front passenger side window. "Thanks for the lift, Lor. We'll see you later on -"

Laura smiles warmly in return."Alright, do you want a lift or will you manage?"

"I think we'll go for a bit of a wander," he says quickly, not giving Alex a chance to object. "It's been ages since I've been out in London," he gushes.

"You're welcome to join us -" Alex interjects, her eyes wide.

Laura smirks at her and shakes her head. "No, I think I'll have a quiet one at home -" she says in mock nonchalance.

Unbeknownst to the other, Matt and Alex glower at Laura with intensity, both operating under the correct assumption that she's trying to set them up.

"Well, I'm off then. Good luck, you two -" says Laura and she drives away, leaving A bewildered Alex and Matt at the bottom of the stairs.

Matt clears his throat, startling Alex from her silent thoughts. "Picture, Kingston?"

Alex nods quickly and he pulls his camera from his satchel, craning it out with his long arm and snapping a photo.

"You probably could have asked someone to take it -" Alex giggles.

"Nah, it's got more creative flare this way. Besides, everyone'll be doing it one day -" he says smugly and she rolls her eyes.

"Anyway -" he offers her his arm. "Shall we?" Alex shakes her head endearingly and accepts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit short but things will start getting interesting soon, I swear! 
> 
> The audition process is next so that's something to look forward to. 
> 
> Please enjoy and I'll be back with more when I can!


	13. Audition one

Alex stood in the wings, her nerves taking control. Her chest was tight and her head was dizzy with fear.   
  
"Breathe, Alex. _Breathe_ -" she affirmed herself.   
  
"You'll make a hell of an impression if you go out in that state -" says a cool voice from behind, making her jump.   
  
She turns to see a handsome man with long, chestnut hair and sporting a curt smile.   
  
"Well, excuse me for being nervous about the outcome of my entire future -" she snaps in return.   
  
"You're quite right-" chuckles the stranger. "Good luck then."   
  
Alex smiles in disdain as he turns and walks away.   
  
"They're ready for you now -" comes a voice from the top of the stairs. Alex nods and makes her way cautiously up to the landing, then past the curtain and onto the stage.   
  
"Good afternoon, Miss -" the man at the centre of the panel pauses and looks down to a piece of paper - "Kingston. This is stage one of your audition. You were prompted to choose one monologue from a classical English play. What piece have you selected?"   
  
Alex shuffles on the spot and clears her throat. "The Tempest- Act 3, Scene 3: Ariel."   
  
The three members of the panel make noises of non-committal and she wonders how many times they've heard this verse today.   
  
"When you're ready -" drawls the woman at the end of the panel impatiently and then like a flipped switch, she suddenly becomes someone new.   
  
She arcs her back and gets on all fours, hissing her delivery. " _You are three men of sin, whom destiny that hath to instrument this lower world and what is in't-"_ she rises slightly and points a hooked finger. _"The never-surfeited sea hath caused to belch up you; and on this island where man doth not inhabit; you 'mongst men being most unfit to live."_  
  
She slinks about her small blocked out section of the stage like a wild cat, keeping her movements primal and defensive. _"I have made you mad and even with such-like valour, men hang and drown their proper selves."_  
  
Alex rises up to almost her full height in reaction to threat and then continues.   
  
 _"You fools! I and my fellows are ministers of Fate: the elements,_  
 _of whom your swords are temper'd, may as well wound the loud winds, or with bemock'd-at stabs, kill the still-closing waters, as diminish one dowle that's in my plume. My fellow-ministers are like invulnerable. If you could hurt, your swords are now too massy for your strengths and will not be uplifted. But remember -"_  
  
"Alright, we'll need you to stop there -" interrupts the slightly camp man at the left side. "What drove you to interpret the character in this manner?"   
  
Alex fights the urge to 'umm' at the beginning of the sentence and instead clasps her hands in front of her. "Well, the play is set on an island. Prospero and Miranda are the only civilized people to be seen on the island for a long time so I figure that any folk who lived on the island before their arrival would probably not be accustomed to common etiquette but Ariel is more civilized because of her enslavement to Prospero. She knows the language and chooses to speak it but her primal instincts are still intact."   
  
The man in the centre scrawls her words onto the file while the other two openly scrutinize her as she stands there.   
  
"You may go -" the woman says after a few moments.   
  
"Thank you -" Alex says with a warm but professional tone and then she turns on the balls of her feet and leaves the stage.   
  
\--  
  
There's a short break between letters M-Z so Alex wanders the halls backstage to find Matt. She finds him in one of the western corridors sitting against a wall with a tall, awkward looking man in the most hideous jumper she'd ever seen.   
  
"Alex -" shouts Matt from the floor. "This is my new friend Arthur. He's already auditioned so he's giving me some pointers -"   
  
"How do you do -" Alex says with a polite smile and Arthur grimaces. "I like your jumper. The deer are especially charming -" she says with a chuckle.   
  
"Yeah, yeah," Arthur says flatly. "I forgot mine and my mum let me borrow hers -"   
  
Matt looks at Alex and the pair burst into laughter and Arthur buries his head in his hands.   
  
"I'll go down in RADA history as the boy who auditioned with the ugly jumper -" he moans. "I'm ruined."   
  
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Who did you play?"   
  
"Macbeth -" he sighs. "I bet they'd heard it 20 times before I was on and that's only in the D's."   
  
"On the upside, your jumper was bound to make an impression -" Matt interjects and Alex eyes him sternly.   
  
Arthur looks up from his lap hopefully. "Do you think so?"   
  
Alex raises her brows and nods minutely to signal a yes to Matt.   
  
"Yeah mate. Absolutely!"   
  
\---   
  
Matt wanders onstage, his stature rigid, and stands on the X marked in tape on the floor.   
  
"Matthew Smith -" booms the centre judge.   
  
"Yeah -" Matt replies nervously.   
  
"This is stage one of your audition. You were prompted to choose one monologue from a classical English play. What piece have you selected?"  
  
"Uh, Antony and Cleopatra - Act 3, Scene 13 -"   
  
"You may begin -" says the woman at the end of the table.  
  
Matt inhales deeply and furrows his brow.   
  
' _If that thy father live, let him repent thou wast not made his daughter; and be thou sorry -" he booms, gesturing firmly with his hands for emphasis._  
 _"To follow Caesar in his triumph, since thou hast been whipp'd for following him."_ He begins pacing pompously and points his finger at the panel.   
  
 _"He makes me angry with him; for he seems proud and disdainful, harping on what I am, not what he knew I was."_ Matt pinches the bridge of his nose and then quickly brings his hand down to slap his thigh in frustration. _"He makes me angry;_  
 _and at this time most easy 'tis to do't." When my good stars, that were my former guides, have empty left their orbs, and shot their fires_  
 _Into the abysm of hell. If he mislike_  
 _my speech and what is done, tell him he has Hipparchus, my enfranched bondman, whom he may at pleasure whip, or hang, or torture,_  
 _As he shall like, to quit me: urge it thou."_  
  
The panel nod and speak quietly with each other and then the man on the end looks up.   
  
"You may go -"   
  
Matt moves to leave and then quickly turns on the spot. "Uhm, thank you -" he quickly adds and then he scurries from the stage.   
  
  
\---   
  
"Idiot -" he shouts, his head against the wall. "I'm such an idiot!"   
  
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad -" says Alex in an effort to comfort him.   
  
"I was completely stiff at the start. I think I even forgot how to speak. Then I almost forgot to thank them at the end. I had to run back to do it and then rushed off again. I must have looked a right pillock -" he wails.   
  
Alex remains outwardly optimistic but admits internally that his audition does sound like it may have been a little disastrous.   
  
"Well, I have all my fingers crossed that we both did better than we think -" she says with a comforting hand on his back. "Now come on, I think we could both use a distraction. How about that wander about London you promised me?"   
  
Matt leans his head back from the wall and beams at her. "Alright Kingston. Let's go." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a few new faces! Has anyone guessed who the handsome unnamed man is yet? I want to slap him and I'm writing him!
> 
> Performance pieces are excerpts from William Shakespeare's The Tempest (Act 3, Scene 3) and Antony and Cleopatra (Act 3, Scene 13).


	14. This place isn't going to explore itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. Writers block and life got in the way! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy though and I'll be back with more soon!

"Come on, Matt! It's the national museum -" she says, pulling him by the arm. "Aren't you even a little excited?"

Matt slows his pace and drags his feet dramatically.

"Maaaaaatt -" whines Alex, stomping her foot on the pavement.

"Come on then, race you -" Matt yells and bolts the rest of the distance across the square and up the stairs. Alex's brain takes a moment to switch on but she makes up the distance between them quickly, taking the steps two at a time once she reaches them.

"Hey, that's not fair -" she calls, behind him.

"All's fair in love and war, Kingston -" Matt retorts as he reaches the top of the stairs. He raises his arms triumphantly and he turns to face her with a smug smile. Alex, however, overestimates her stop and crashes right into him; knocking them both to the ground.

Matt is completely winded and experiencing pain in places he wished he weren't but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the weight of Alex pressed on top of him.

"Oh my god Matt, I am so sorry -" she gushes. "Are you alright? I didn't hurt your back did I?" He strokes her arm absentmindedly and laughs.

"No, it's fine. My satchel broke my fall -" Alex collapses onto his chest, relieved. "I'm so glad. I'd have felt awful -" she sighs. 

They remain on the floor until a security guard approaches. "You two are going to have to move along," he says sternly and they both stifle giggles.

"Sorry Sir," Matt apologises and the officer nods, then walks away. Alex scrambles to her feet first, making sure to be as careful to miss Matt's delicate areas as she can, then helps him to stand. "Sorry again," she mumbles, averting her gaze and Matt chuckles.

"We're both still in one piece so no harm done. Now come on, this place isn't going to explore itself -" he says, offering his hand. Alex takes it and they traipse off into the large hall.

\--

 

Day two of auditions is set to be as grueling as the last. The list of successful auditions is posted on the bulletin board at 9am and at least 1000 hopefuls have been culled by half. Matt spots Arthur walking back to the theatre from the front office and Arthur gives a triumphant thumbs-up, then points to the jumper he is sporting which is equally - if not more - hideous than yesterday's.

Alex is so nervous that she can barely keep still and has told Matt to check the list for her name and then changed her mind at least 8 times.

"Come on Alex, you've got to find out sooner or later. If you don't look now and you're in, you'll miss your second audition -" he says with a nudge.

"I hate you when you speak sense, you know -"

"What if we look together," he asks and Alex smiles hopefully.

They wade through the crowd, Matt is on more of a mission than she is, and finally push their way to the front. A they pass a few sobbing girls that she remembers from yesterday and Alex smiles at them sympathetically but continues on her path.

Matt sees her name first but says nothing, carefully composing his face into one of intrigue despite his knowledge of her status.

"I'm safe -" she cries, launching herself into Matt's arms. He clutches her tightly, smiling into her bushy hair.

"I knew you'd make it!"

"What about you -" she asks and she feels him nod.

"Can't let you have all the fun now, can I?"

"Smug bastard," she laughs.

\--

The auditions are held in front of an audience today, as opposed to facing only the panel. They sit in alphabetical order so Matt and Alex are several seats and rows away from each other. A blonde girl situated two seats to her left accidentally makes eye contact with her while she scopes the room and she smiles meekly to her. They both immediately burst into stifled giggles.

"Hello, I'm Jen Galloway -" the girl whispers, offering her hand to shake. Alex smiles to her and returns the handshake enthusiastically.

"Alex Kingston -"

"I'm so glad I have someone to talk to today. The rest of the people in my rehearsal space yesterday were pricks -" she explains in exacerbation. "Speak of the devil," she says with an eye roll as a tall man dressed head to toe in black makes his way along the row.

"Hello again," the man says with an arrogant grin in Alex's direction. "I didn't get a chance to formally introduce myself yesterday. I'm Ralph. Ralph Fiennes."

"Pleasure," Alex replies flatly through gritted teeth and she crosses her arms. Ralph remains standing, as if to assert dominance.

"I'm sorry, but have I done something to offend you?" Alex remains silent. The truth is, he hasn't actually done anything to offend her. She just gets a bad vibe from him and she's learned to always trust her instincts when it comes to men like him.

' _Too good looking, too confident, too charming. They're all the same_.'

"You're going to be a tough nut to crack, I'm sure." He smirks. "Something I can look forward to." Alex wrinkles her nose and looks to Jennifer, who is now mime-vomiting, and smirks but still says nothing. Ralph must get the hint because he immediately sits in silence and crosses his arms. After a few moments of awkward silence between the three, the head of the audition panel appears onstage and begins to speak.

"Today's piece is a contemporary performance and will determine your moving to the third and final level of audition. Reaching the third audition does not automatically grant you entry into this establishment. Following your final auditions, I and my fellow judges will enter a day of deliberations which will see 150 of you returning for the next semester. Would applicants from A-E please stand and file down the stairway to the left. Following your performance, you are to leave via the stairway to stage right and return to your seat to await further instruction." The first and second rows stand and makes their way to the door leading to the stairwell, then disappear into the darkness.


	15. Shudder

After a half hour break between auditions, letters F-M are called upon to wait backstage. Alex, as per tradition, retreats into herself and begins furiously reenacting her piece in a corner. Jen takes up a space nearby and the majority of the other applicants follow suit. There is one figure in the room, however, who stands almost completely still.

Ralph leans on the far wall to observe his competition curiously. His eyes wander the room, skimming over the figures briefly. Some he would pause on for a moment or two - others he ignores; not worthy of his attention, in his opinion.

It wasn't until his eyes fell upon a particular figure that he stopped and really payed attention.

When Alex had awoken and dressed, she'd used particular care when selecting her outfit; today's was a green mini-dress with black leggings. She made sure it was high in comfort and maneuverability, like much of her wardrobe, but also so that her full form would be on display. Usually, she would pay no mind to the prying eyes of onlookers but by mid-morning, she was seriously regretting it. She could feel the eyes burrowing into her and it made her shudder in discomfort.

Across the room, Ralph's eyes raked over her form hungrily; transfixed on her form and licking his lips as she stretched and bounced on the spot in preparation for her performance.

"Ralph Fiennes," called a voice from the doorway and his head snapped forward. "The panel will see you now."

Ralph smiled smugly toward Alex, looking her up and down once more, and she crosses her arms across her chest defensively as he walks slowly by.

"I feel dirty even after being in his presence -" Jen mutters over her shoulder as he passes, giving him her best glare.

Alex nods cautiously in agreement. "I know what you mean -"

\---

Alex makes her way to centre stage and stands soberly.

"Miss Kingston, congratulations on making it to the second stage of auditions -" says the woman at the end of the panel.

"Thank you -" she returns.

"What have you prepared today -" asks the gentleman in the middle.

"I've selected the character Patsy from Little Murders by Jules Feiffer."

The more flamboyant man on the panel scrawls something onto a piece of paper and then returns his attention to the stage.

"You may begin -" the woman says.

Alex bows her head and exhales evenly. When she looks back up, she has become Patsy. Her expression is one of pained fury and she's adopted a rough Northern accent, or at least she hopes so.

"Honey, I don’t wanna hurt you. I wanna _change_ you. I wanna make you see that there is some value in life, that there's some beauty, some tenderness, some things worth _reacting_ to. Some things worth _feeling_. But you’ve got to take some chances some time!" She accentuates her words with the movement of her hands, turning to face the audience left of stage. "What do you want out of life? Just survival -" she asks with a tone of frustration. "It’s not enough! It’s not, not enough -" she says, raising her voice and turning back to face the panel. "I'm not gonna have a surviving marriage. I’m gonna have a _flourishing_ marriage! I’m a woman! Or, by Jesus, it’s about time I became one -" she yells, her voice cracking. "I want a family! Oh, Christ, Alfred, this is my wedding day." She exhales calmly and then continues, her voice more even now. "I want – I want to be married to a big, strong, protective, vital, virile, self-assured man who I can protect and take care of. Alfred, honey, you’re the first man I’ve ever gone to bed with where I didn’t feel he was a lot more likely to get pregnant than I was. You owe me something! I’ve invested everything I believe in you -" she raises her voice again. "You’ve got to let me mould you. Please let me mould you. You’ve got me whining, begging and crying. I’ve never behaved like this in my life. Will you look at this -" she points to her cheek in surprise. "That’s a tear. I never cried in my life."

She falls silent and then looks to the panel and nods, signaling the end of her scene.

The hall is silent, save for one person slow clapping, then easing to a stop. She knows it's Matt and giggles quietly into her hand, shaking her head.

The judges murmur between themselves and then turn to face her. "Thank you, you may go -" the woman says.

Alex nods and says a quiet "thank you-" then turns on the spot and leaves via the door at stage right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really got much to say except this fic really helps me deal with my Ralph hate. He's just so creepy!


	16. Audition two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. I have another two and a half chapters already written so I'll stagger those posts out and it will keep us all going for the week. 
> 
> I have no idea how long this fic is going to go. I honestly didn't think it would even be this long. 
> 
>  
> 
> Matt's audition piece is an excerpt from Flashback by Philip Pinkus and since I forgot to post it, Alex's is an excerpt from Little Murders by Jules Feiffer.

During the next half hour break, Alex wanders up the stairs to the row of seats dedicated to letters N-T. Arthur seems to have had the same idea she did because he is already there.

Matt is sitting with his back toward her and laughing at something ridiculous Arthur has done, no doubt. Arthur is the first to see her advancing and he nods a polite hello.

"Just popped up to say good luck -" Alex says with a bright smile. 

Matt jumps from his seat with haste. "Kingston! You were brilliant -" he gushes, grabbing her firmly by the shoulders. "I was utterly captivated -" he says excitedly as he hugs her.

"I hope you're not the only one -" she replies in uncertainty. "Nonsense -" he barks.

"Well, you _were_ the only person clapping -" she laughs.

Matt looks away, bashful. "I honestly thought everyone would, okay -"

Arthur laughs quietly, reminding them of his presence and they both turn to face him.

"It's alright, you're not the only one who was applauded today -" Arthur says flatly. "The _fabulous_ Ralph Fiennes received a standing ovation from his fan club -"

Alex snorts in disgust. "People think he's amazing? He's repulsive."

"Oh, so you've met -" Arthur says in mock surprise.

"Yes -" she snaps. "And I don't think I've ever felt so violated in my life -" she shudders.

The woman they all recognized as the stage manager appeared onstage. "Would the N-T's please make their way backstage -"

Matt gulps and Alex smiles softly to comfort him. "You'll be _amazing_ -" she said, embracing him tightly. "Good luck."

Arthur swats at his shoulder awkwardly. "Yeah good luck, mate."

Matt begins walking down the aisle, looking back to his two friends one last time before disappearing into the wings.

\--

Matt walks onstage holding a folding chair and places it on his mark.

"Good afternoon Mr Smith -" says the man in the centre of the panel.

Matt shuffles on the spot slightly and rubs the back of his head. "Good afternoon."

"Which piece have you selected for today's performance -" asks the woman.

He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out so he clears his throat. "Flashback - Philip Pinkus. I'll be performing the part of Grant."

The man on the end of the panel picks up a pen and writes it down.

"You may begin -" says the woman.

Matt nods once and then sits on the chair. His eyes close and he takes in a deep breath and then exhales shakily.

"Laura? Remember the little boat we had on Harrison Lake and how one night we rowed off until we felt that in the whole world there were only the two of us, you and me -" he asks, smiling softly and resting one arm on his thigh casually. "I remember the moon was dark and the water was still and we drifted, cradled in darkness. I barely touched the oars -" he looked to his shoulder reverently and then folds his arms around his shoulders like a hug. "You had your head on my shoulder and I had my arms around you. All I felt and all I knew was you, your gentle breathing, as your face touched mine -" he ghosts a hand over his cheek briefly and continues to speak. "Across the lake where the mountain dropped into the water the darkness was pitch, except for one single light. We wondered who could live in a place so wild and dark. Soon we could not separate ourselves from the night. We no longer knew whether we were alive or dead."

He stands slowly, not making eye contact with the panel.

"For me there was only you and the night and the light calling us from the darkness -"

He looks back up to the panel and nods.

"Thank you, Mr Smith. You may go -" says the man in the centre.

"Thank you -" Matt mumbles, walking quickly from the stage.

\---

Alex runs and launches at him. "Matt, you were brilliant!"

"Thanks, Kingston -" he chuckles, returning her hug enthusiastically.

They sit together for the remainder of the auditions and then wait for the panel to address the applicants after the auditions are complete.

"Good afternoon -" says the most flamboyant of the panel as he walks onstage. "First of all, I'd like for you all to give yourselves a good clap. Your auditions are now complete -" the room bursts into applause and cheers and he beams at them. "Now, on a less positive note. I must remind you all that not all applicants will be successful. As of now, we enter intense deliberations and will have our final list written and posted at 9am Thursday morning." The room murmurs quietly and Matt looks to Alex, whose face is currently stuck in a state which can only be described as a look of relief and complete dread simultaneously. He can tell that she's not breathing and squeezes her hand. She exhales slowly and turns to face him with a soft smile, then rests her head on his shoulder. "Until then, go forth! Enjoy London! You may need to know these streets soon -" the man chortles and with that, they all stand and start slowly filing out of the theatre.


	17. The moment of truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've jumped forward in the timeline because there's no way that I can write 3 years of education into one fic. Who has time for that haha?! 
> 
> I'll keep it interesting though. Don't worry about that!

They arrive at the RADA campus at 8:30 the next morning, hoping to be somewhat close to the front of the sudden influx. Unsurprisingly, they're still quite far from the front and instead find themselves slumped against a wall nursing bad tea in a styrofoam cup.

The office door opens at precisely 8:26 and out steps Bryan, the head of the panel, with the stack of life-changing papers. One by one he tacks them to the cork board, the crowd behind him craning their necks in a futile attempt at reading the minuscule text. He hangs the last piece, turns to face the crowd and then nods and returns through the office door.

The crowd rushes forward suddenly, Alex somehow manages to keep her tea, Matt swears loudly as he loses his down the front of his sweater. He abandons his empty cup on the ground, fully intent on relocating it to the bin once he returns. He has other things on his mind at the moment.

Alex pushes her way through the crowd which is slowly beginning to thin out; most are crying, few others cheering. Her eyes scan through the pages briefly; she notes that Arthur and Jen have made it in and continues skim over the list, then she sees it:

_Alexandra Kingston_

She immediately loses the ability to think, unable to even verbalize her thoughts, she crumples to the floor.

"Alex?" Matt immediately drops to the her side. "Alex, are you alright?"

"I - I -" she begins, still barely able to force the words out. "- made it."

"Alex, that's brilliant -" he beams, bringing her in for a rib breaking hug. "I knew you could do it, Kingston!"

They remain on the floor in silence for a few moments, Matt holds Alex close while she calms down. When she regains her ability to think clearly, she remembers.

"Matt, did you -"

Matt's eyes fall to the floor and he purses his lips.

"Oh Matt, no -" she gasps, bringing her hands to her mouth in shock. "You wanted this so much."

"I'll be alright," he assures her. "Nothing will stop me, not even lack of training -" he chuckles.

And he was right.

\--

It had been 2 years since their lives had changed and though he rarely saw Alex, they always made the time to call at least once a week.

Alex was currently sharing a one bedroom flat with Jen and Laura had offered him the spare room in hers when her housemate moved out a few months ago. It was all quite nice, even with the slight distance between them.

The phone rings just after 8 and Matt walks over slowly, knowing who is calling, and picks up.

"You're such a pratt -"

"And hello to you too -" he chuckles.

"Guess who just got a guest spot on The Bill -" she blurts.

Matt smiles into the phone. "Oh yeah? Goody or baddie?"

"Prostitute -" she offers plainly and he laughs.

"Hey, it's a start -" she retorts.

"No, you're right. Good on you, Kingston -" he chuckles.

"What about you? Any projects on the horizon?"

"I've got a callback for a film this week that's really promising and there's a series that I've been looking into as well -"

"Oh darling, that's wonderful! What film?"

"It's only a telemovie, you've probably not heard of it -" he says dismissively but she stops him.

"Now, now- don't sell yourself short! You're getting out there and getting auditions. That's more than I'm doing -"

"Hey, you're going to one of Britain's most prestigious drama schools and landing roles -"

Alex scoffs at his optimism.

"It's going to open more doors for you than I'll ever see -" Matt shrugs absentmindedly, forgetting that he's talking on the phone and Alex can't see him.

"Oh don't be such a negative Nancy -" Alex teases. "You've got natural talent that no school can teach, Matt -" she says. His heart swells with pride.

They sit in silence for a moment before she speaks. "I wish you were here -" she sighs.

"Me too -"

"Arthur's having a party at his on Friday night. He'd love it if you came -"

"He would, huh?"

"I would too, I suppose -" she says nonchalantly. Matt smirks into the receiver.

"Well- I guess if you'd both like to see me, I could probably drop by for a bit..."

"Great! Meet me outside the campus at 4 and we can go to mine first and get ready, yeah?"

He can hear the excitement in her voice and grins in return.

There's a lull in the conversation for a moment and he can hear her yawning faintly. "Anyway, I should probably let you go. It's getting late -"

"No, it's still -" she yawns the word 'early' and he chuckles.

"Goodniiiight Kingston -" She opens her mouth to protest but yawns again, deciding that maybe it is time for bed.

"Goodnight Matt -" she says, smiling as she hangs the phone back on its cradle.


	18. The encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll warn you now, this chapter contains graphic descriptions of rape and could be triggering for some. 
> 
> Please don't hate me but this is the direction my brain has decided on for some reason. 
> 
> I'm sorry!

It's finally Friday and Matt finds himself sitting at the base of the stairs outside Alex's campus. He's half an hour early but he doesn't mind. It gives him time to go through lines for his next audition and he doesn't look so much like a madman when he's talking to himself outside a drama school.

"I like your technique." A voice interrupts from behind. Matt turns on the spot, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Kingston!"

She runs to the bottom step and, launches into his arms. He lifts her from the step, spinning her around before placing her on the pavement.

"Miss me that much, did you?"

Matt blushes and kicks the bottom step with his boot. "No." he retorts, crossing his arms like a sullen child.

Alex giggles. "You can admit it. I promise I won't tease you."

"Cross your heart?" She draws an 'X' across her chest and nods seriously.

Matt squints at her, as if analyzing her like a lie detector. "Alright, I might have missed you a bit -" he huffs.

Alex jumps back onto the bottom step to meet Matt's eye level. "HA! I knew you missed me!" She smiles smugly.

Matt gasps exaggeratedly, pointing his finger at her, outraged. "You promised!"

"I lied. What are you going to do about it?"

"Oh, you'll pay!" he retorts, stepping closer and she takes another step up.

He advances again and she starts to run, zigzagging up the steps and then back down onto the street. "No Matt, what are you -?"

He gains on her quickly and scoops her into his arms, prodding and tickling as she thrashes.

"No, I hate you!" Alex gasps in fits of laughter.

"You don't!" Matt laughs, continuing his tickling onslaught.

"Alright, I apologise!" She chokes out.

Matt's tickling subsides and he frees her from his grasp. "And for the record, I missed you too," she says quietly, falling into step with him close by his side. They interlace their fingers and walk the short distance to Alex's flat so she can get changed.

"You're welcome to make a cup of tea or nick a drink from the fridge if you like." Alex calls as she walks up the hall.

Matt moves eagerly to the fridge and pulls out the carton of orange juice. Out of habit, he raises the carton to his lips.

"Use a glass!" Alex calls from the room. Blast that woman. She knows me too well, he thinks. After a few minutes, he hears Alex's feet padding down the hall and he lies in wait, ready to pounce. Her steps grow closer until he knows she's about to emerge through the doorway and he jumps out in front of her.

"BOO-AGHHHH!"

Alex bursts out laughing, her hair is piled into a high bun on top of her head and a towel is slung over her shoulder but nothing is covering anything else.

Matt looks away from her, then glances at her outfit and then away again, as if she had somehow covered herself in a microsecond. "Alex - I - um -"

"Oh come on Matt, you've seen it all before," she scoffs but he still averts his eyes. "Look, if it makes you feel better -" she takes the towel from her shoulder and wraps it around herself. "You can look now."

He looks up to meet her gaze, still blushing.

Alex scrutinizes his expression with a raised brow. "Better?"

Matt splutters an affirmative response and she rolls her eyes.

"I'm just going to get dressed." She says as she swaggers off down the hall again.

He swears she does it on purpose, that walk. She's done it since he's known her. Her hips just sort of - and her bum - well, you know - It drives him insane that she's just so effortlessly sexy and then here he is; the awkward giraffe with the giant chin and ears like wings on a jet.

He's so deep in his thoughts that he doesn't hear her return and he jumps at the sound of her voice. "Ready to go?"

"Mmm, yeah. I'll just get my coat," he answers, gesturing to Alex's orange bicycle/ coat rack.

\--

The walk to Arthur's flat was a short one, thanks to the brisk evening air, but it was very pleasant nonetheless. Alex walks close to his side to steal what warmth he had to offer because her skin-tight velvet catsuit offered her little to no warmth of her own and he could already tell that she was going to be the talk of the town for it. "Aren't you cold?"

"Oh yes, but I feel amazing!" She leaves his side in a spin and laughs, her arms wide and her curls wild about her face. Matt shakes his head and smiles endearingly at her.

She's always marching at the beat of her own drum, he thinks.

\--

Arthur is nowhere to be seen when they arrive but that's no surprise.

"He's a bit meticulous about his house so he's probably upstairs cleaning," she explains. "To be fair, he was an only child and raised by his mum so he was always bound to be a bit of a tidy bug."

Matt chuckles quietly to himself, taking in his surroundings. The chairs looked like they were still brand new, though the style was easily 10 or so years old, and there wasn't a trace of dust anywhere.

"Arthur?" Alex calls up the stairwell.

"Alex, is that you?"

"Yeah. I've brought Matt with me too, I hope you don't mind?"

They hear footsteps shuffling above them and then he appears on the landing. "Not at all! Hey mate, how are you?"

"I'm good, yeah. I notice your style hasn't changed much -" he says, pointing to Arthur's woolen jumper.

Arthur brings his hands up to his chest absentmindedly and laughs. "Yeah, it's a bit of a trademark now."

"Anyway, do you need a hand setting anything up?" Alex offers.

"Oh, that'd be great! I've got a couple of cases of Lager and some wine that need putting in the laundry tub."

Matt nods and begins to walk, then realises he has no idea where he's going and turns on the spot. "Where to?"

Alex laughs and leads him by the shoulders through a doorway to their left, taking them through the kitchen where they pick up the drinks from the counter and take them into the small laundry room.

Arthur joins them soon after and he sets about the kitchen to prepare snacks while Matt rests against the counter. "I could help, you know. I'm actually not that useless in the kitchen." Matt complains.

"Darling, I've seen you trip over on air and this involves sharp implements. Just sit over there and look pretty, would you."

Arthur looks at them suspiciously. "Darling? Pretty? Is there something you'd care to share, Alex?"

"Whatever do you mean, dear?"

"Well, I just sort of assumed that you two had finally..." he begins but Matt gives him a stop talking signal and he cuts himself off. "You know what, I think I heard someone at the door..." Arthur drops his knife on the chopping board and rushes from the room.

"I wonder what's got into him?" Alex asks, leaning against the counter and biting the top of a stick of celery.

"God knows." Matt shrugs and hopes that he sounds confused.

\--

The party is in full swing about two hours later. There's a dull murmur that's barely audible above the records that Arthur has playing in the background. As Matt had suspected, Alex is particularly popular with the lads tonight, and he watches from a polite distance as the group around her fall all over themselves trying to please her.  _'Can I get you a drink?_ ' and _'Do you need more chips?'_ are heard at regular intervals and she is absolutely lapping up the attention.

He notes that she's becoming steadily drunk and begins passing cups of water in her direction instead of the wine she's been taking in hopes that she gets the hint to slow down.

"Hey Matt!" Someone calls from across the room and he turns around to see Jennifer waving enthusiastically for him to come over. He sets off across the room with a smile and is received with a warm, welcoming hug. "It feels like it's been ages. How are you?"

Matt shrugs. "Work, auditions - you know?"

Jen giggles and slaps his arm. "I asked how you were, not what you were doing."

"Oh, well - I uh - I'm good?"

Jennifer laughs. "You don't sound too sure about that."

"Well, I don't know. I live with my sister and I barely see my best friend so I suppose I could be better." He shrugs. "But I'm not complaining!" he blurts then takes a swig from his drink.

"Of course you're not." Jennifer replies skeptically. They fall into an uncomfortable silence.

"So tell me, is there a reason why you two aren't shagging?"

"PFFFFWHAT?!" He says, spitting his drink. 

"Thanks for that." Jen says grimly, now dripping with Matt's lager.

"Sorry about that," he supplies timidly as he passes her a paper towel.

"It's fine -" she chuckles. "I have spare clothes upstairs anyway."

Matt raises a quizzical eyebrow to her. "Really?"

"Don't change the subject."

"What subject?"

"Oh come on Matt. Anyone could tell you two are head over heels for each other!"

"She's never shown the slightest bit of interest in me." Matt snaps.

 _It's bad enough that his sister is constantly at him but now Jen too? It's all a bit ridiculous,_ he thinks.

He's still quietly seething over Jen's accusations when he hears loud cheers followed by a crash in the living room. "Alex?!" He shouts over the crowd as he dashes back into the living room. When he finds her, she is on the floor, giggling her brains out next to the broken coffee table.

"What the bloody hell is going on -" he yells, bending down to examine her.

"Kingston's just been entertaining us all with a dance demonstration -" one of the men in the crowd explains. "She was using the table as a stage but the legs gave way. Darvill's gonna have a fit when he sees this."

"Maaaaatt!" Alex calls, giggling and struggling to stand. "Did you see my dance?"

"No, I missed it. Come on, let's get you home." Matt moves to lift her to her feet.

"You'll never get her home in this state." Jen says from behind. "Take her upstairs to Arthur's bed. He won't mind."

Matt nods. "Help me with her?"

"Yeah, okay."

He drapes an arm over his shoulder and Jen does the same, then the three stagger up the stairs and into Arthur's room.

"She can sleep it off in here for a bit and then I'll get her into the shower." Jen offers as they dump her onto the bed. "I'll find something less impractical to wear, shall I?"

Matt nods and turns away as Jennifer strips Alex of her catsuit. "Get me a nightie from that bag -" she asks, pointing to a knapsack in the corner. He crosses the room, his eyes still averted, and pulls a pink oversized shirt from the bag and tosses it in Jen's direction.

When Jennifer stands and leaves, Matt takes the knitted throw from the end of the bed and tucks Alex in up to the neck. Her hair is a mess so he brushes it back from her face, then kisses her forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Kingston."

\--

_There's a weight on top of her and she feels like she can't breathe. She wants to open her mouth and scream but something is stopping her._

_She thrashes about, trying to get free but she can't. Her hands are pinned above her head and there's an indescribable pain between her thighs. It's like she's being torn open from the inside out. She hears a voice, it's vaguely familiar. Soft but emotionless. Who is that?_

_"Good girl."_

The attacker draws out 'girl' and it makes her feel sick.

_"I know you want me. You always have."_

The pain strikes her core again and she arcs her back in agony, shrieking and moaning - just trying to be heard.

 _'Please stop -'_ she screams over and over in her head.

The pressure on top of her becomes a slow thrust.

It's dark but there's a small amount of light filtering through the blinds and she can almost make out his face contorting and shifting with his pleasure; _her pain._  

She tries in vain to get her hands free and hit him but he's stronger than her.

 

_"My, you really are a little firecracker, aren't you?"_

Something about that his use of  the word  _'Firecracker'_ sticks in her mind and she scowls. 

Each time she struggles, he causes more pain. 

She doesn't know what else to do so she falls limp. 

That's what they say to do isn't it? In all of the pamphlets?

_Don't fight; Don't give them a reason to hurt you._

_"Yes, good. Don't fight it."_ the voice coos.

The thrusts become faster, more erratic- then his movements stutter and he groans loudly. Not loudly enough for someone to come running - Arthur's music ensured that - but she knew it was over.

_"Go back to sleep now. There's a good girl."_

\--

When she wakes, Jennifer is standing over her with a glass of water and some paracetamol.

"Come on sleeping beauty, we need to get some fluids into you." Jen says in a motherly tone.

Her head is pounding and her legs ache like never before so she takes the capsules gratefully, gulping the water down without taking a breath. Jen sits on the side of the bed and pats her thigh. "How are you feeling?"

Alex scowls at herself, trying to remember the events of the night. "Sore?" She pauses. "What happened last night?"

"You had a few too many, demolished Arthur's coffee table, then Matt helped me drag you up here."

_So I fell? That explains the pain in my side - but what about the pain in my legs?_

She looks to her wrists, feeling a twinge of pain as she moves them and notices the light bruises that are forming."Did anyone else come in here last night?"

Jen looks up, perplexed. "I don't think so. Why?"

Alex shakes the memory from her mind. "No reason. I just had a strange dream."

\--

After the party, Matt helps Arthur clear as much of the mess as he can and supplies him a couple of pounds to buy a new coffee table.

"Honestly mate, it's fine. I got it from the flea market anyway." Arthur protests but Matt will hear none of it.

"I insist. I should have kept a closer eye on her." Matt chuckles.

\--

Alex staggers from the bed and wanders to the bathroom. Her legs are shaky and between her thighs hurt like nothing else. She feels like she's still a bit drunk so she steadies herself on the wall as she goes.

While she sits on the toilet, she tries to recount the night. She honestly has no recollection of breaking a table or even becoming that drunk in the first place. She remembered drinking a few glasses of wine but she was usually quite good at holding her liquor.

The only thing she seems to be able to recall is the dream about the monster in the shadows. But was it a monster?

She forces her mind back to last night's dream. She hears his voice. _'You're such a good girl.'_

Her head is spinning and she feels sick to the stomach. Her hand reaches out and she braces herself against the wall, now realising the bruises forming around her wrists are growing steadily darker. Tears fall from her eyes and she sobs into her hands.

There's a knock at the door and she quickly composes herself enough to speak.

"Yeah?"

"Arthur said to tell you that those are fresh towels hanging on the towel rail -" Jennifer calls through the door.

"Thanks -" Alex calls back, her voice only slightly wavering.

She stands and turns on the shower, not even bothering to wait for it to warm - she strips off her clothing and steps right in. The cold water stings against her skin but she breathes through it, collapsing in tears on the floor of the cubicle.

She doesn't know how long she's been there when there's another knock at the door. "Alex?" It's Jennifer.

She loves Jen. She's become a great friend over the years but what she wants - _needs_ \- is her best friend.

"Alex, are you okay in there?"

"I need Matt!" Alex calls, sobbing.

"Matt?" asks Jennifer hesitantly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She hears Jennifer call down to Matt and his large boot-clad feet come stomping quickly up the stairs. He knocks softly on the door. "Alex? Is everything alright?"

"No -" she manages to call before bursting into tears again.

He eases the door open and closes it softly behind him, then rushes to the side of the glass shower cubicle.

"Alex? What's what's happened?" He asks, concerned.

"I -" she begins but she can't bring herself to finish. Matt pulls a towel from the towel rail, then opens the shower door and turns the still running water off. She is curled into a ball with her head against the wall so he timidly drapes the towel over her and then offers her his hand. "Come on love, you're shivering."

She takes his hand and he lifts her to her feet and embraces her tightly. Alex slowly looks up to his soft, smiling face and crumples again. He clutches Alex closely, pushing the wet hair clinging to her face back. He hadn't been paying particular attention to her naked body when he entered the room but now that she was in the light, he could see the result of her injuries; the most eye catching was the angry purple one on her left leg - probably from the coffee table incident - but another set caught his eye as she clutched at his shirt. "Alex, these marks around your wrists... How did they happen?"

Alex cries harder into his chest and he pulls her backwards to sit on his lap on the toilet. "Did someone do this to you?"

Alex continues sobbing but nods. He inhales deeply and then exhales to calm himself. "Did anything else happen?"

Alex draws herself back and he sees her face properly for the first time since he pulled her from the shower. There's something about her expression that doesn't sit right with him. The light in her eyes has faded. She looks... dead.

Matt's face becomes hot with anger but he keeps his tone calm and even when he speaks next. "Did somebody touch you, Alex?"

Her bottom lip quivers and she drops her head to his chest again, sobbing. "Oh Alex -" he clutches her to his chest. "We need to go to the police."

"I didn't - I never - I never saw his face -" she hiccoughs.

"It's alright, love. We should still go; if not for you then for the other women he may assault." He insists gently.

Alex looks up to him again, his eyes are moist and sympathetic, and she feels her anxiety beginning to subside. She's still very shaken and her voice cracks as she speaks but she soldiers on. "Matt - I can't -" she stutters, closing her eyes against the inevitable tears. She takes a deep breath in and continues. "I can't do it alone."

"Oh Alex." Matt sighs somberly, stroking her back in consolation. "I'd never let you."

\--

They remained in the bathroom until Alex had regained enough composure to face Arthur and Jen. She and Matt had agreed not to mention what happened, instead telling them that Alex was ashamed of herself for behaving as poorly as she had and insisting that Matt take her home so she could sleep it off in her own bed.

"I really am sorry." Alex apologises, looking down at her feet. "My behaviour was deplorable and I'm truly ashamed."

"It's alright, we've all been there before." Jen chuckles, lightly stroking Alex's arm.

 _'If only you knew,'_ she thinks to herself.


	19. The idea of the monster being unmasked terrifies me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed that I've been going back through the story and fixing details that have frustrated me, including chapter titles! 
> 
> I'm most of the way through the next chapter so don't worry, that's coming soon! Sorry about the delay for this one. I have a zillion things going on here and not enough time for all of them but I'll make an effort not to forget this. 
> 
> As always, enjoy!

\--

The hospital room is dead silent, save for the sounds of their breathing and the clock on the wall. Alex sits on his bed with a blanket drawn up around her shoulders. The female nurse had taken some blood and done a pelvic exam, now they were waiting for the police to come and hear her statement.

"Do you think you'd be up to eating after this? We could get takeaway and eat at yours." Matt offers.

"I can't go home yet, Matt. I can't stand the thought of being alone in that house after you've gone."

Matt furrows his brow. "What do you mean alone? Won't Jen be back later?"

Alex shakes her head. "She's been spending every night at Arthur's house for the past 3 months. They've become quite the item."

Matt ignores the note of jealousy in her voice. "So when you ring me at night and pretend not to miss me?"

"I'm there by myself, wallowing in my own pitiful, lonely existence."

Matt reaches out a hand to hold hers and she flinches. "Oh Kingston." He sighs. 

They fall silent again. Matt can almost hear Alex's brain ticking over. "If he was at the party, it had to be someone from class. He'll probably be watching me every day and running instant replays in his disgusting head." She shudders.

Matt shifts himself from the end of the bed to sit beside her and puts an arm over her shoulder. Of course she's right, he thinks. The bloody mongrel had probably been waiting for this opportunity the entire time they'd been at the academy. If he has any friends, he'll be bragging about how he conquered the untamable Alex Kingston.

Alex leans her head on his shoulder. "What am I meant to do, Matt? I don't know if I can go back." Her voice breaks.

He looks up, shocked. "But that school is your dream! You can't let some pitiful excuse of a man drive you away!"

"Then what am I supposed to do?" She asks, her voice wet and shaky. 

Matt takes her by the shoulders and turns himself to face her front on. "Don't give the bastard the satisfaction." He says firmly. "If I need to disguise myself as a lamp and personally attend your classes with you, I will." He laughs.

Alex smiles. "I wish you could."

\--

It had been two weeks since the attack and the police were no closer to identifying the assailant than Alex was to remembering who he was. That didn't mean she couldn't see his face every time she closed her eyes.

For the first few days, he allowed her to sleep in his bed and would sleep on the sofa, running to console her when she woke screaming.

After 5 days, she insisted that she go home and get out of his and Laura's hair.

By 11pm on days 6 and 7, Matt found himself on the phone consoling her before rushing across town to her side. Incidentally, the next week, they fell into the routine of him sitting in bed talking her to sleep before eventually falling asleep with her curled into his side.

Tonight, it feels like his head has just hit the pillow when Alex begins thrashing about in her sleep.

"Alex!" He cries as her hand comes in contact with his cheek. "Ooph- Alex! It's alright, love. It was a dream. He's not here, he can't hurt you anymore," he says frantically as he pulls her into a one-armed hug and cradles her head on his shoulder with his other hand.

Alex lets out sharp breaths as she jolts awake and Matt reaches over her shoulder to turn on the lamp.

She blinks against the sudden light flooding the room and scrunches her eyes shut, slowly opening them as they adjusted. Her eyes fall to Matt's scratched face. "Oh Matt -" she says, brushing her fingers lightly over the raised skin on his face. "Did I -?"

Matt nods. "It's alright, you didn't mean to," he says softly.

"The dreams are becoming more vivid now. I think I'm getting closer to remembering." Alex lets out a sharp sigh and nestles deeper into Matt's chest.

Matt absentmindedly strokes her hair. "Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Right now, I'm not sure. The idea of the monster being unmasked terrifies me." Her voice wavers.

Matt sighs quietly, furrowing his brow. "Come on, Kingston. What you need is a nice cup of tea."

It had become a somewhat of a ritual, she'd noticed. Each time she wakes him, he leads her to the kitchen, sits her down at the  breakfast nook and makes her tea while proclaiming his intentions of revenge.

"I swear, if you ever remember who the bastard is, I'll kill him myself." He seethes as he fills their teacups.

Alex rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Then where will you be? In jail and I'll be here alone with nobody to talk to."

Matt scoffs. "We can't have that now, can we?" He pauses for a moment while he carefully relocates the tea to the table. "What about a good sound beating?"

"No!" She says firmly but she can't help giggling.

They sit in silence, sipping their tea for a moment. "I could hire someone." Matt says with a smirk.

"Matthew!" She chuckles in response. Her situation is no laughing matter, she knows, but Matt's presence through the whole ordeal is really what she needs. He copes with stress in the same way she does; with humour, and with his help, she had slowly begun to heal.

 


	20. The devil wears a suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt accompanies Alex on the walk to her campus the following Monday. Their arms are linked and they wander along the paved sidewalk, taking turns to balance on the edge of the gardens running alongside. When they reach the school steps, Matt steps back to wave her off. As she starts her ascent, she hesitates for a moment, stopping on the landing and turns to face him sheepishly.

  


 

Matt accompanies Alex on the walk to her campus the following Monday. Their arms are linked and they wander along the paved sidewalk, taking turns to balance on the edge of the gardens running alongside. When they reach the school steps, Matt steps back to wave her off. As she starts her ascent, she hesitates for a moment, stopping on the landing and turns to face him sheepishly.

"You’re sure you can't see them?" She asks nervously.  
  
He walks up the stairs to meet her and closely inspects her uncovered extremities. "Not a trace," he says firmly, brushing his thumb across her wrist.   
  
Alex casts her eyes downward, feeling quite foolish. "I'm being paranoid, aren't I?”  
  
He lets out a patient sigh and envelops her in a tight hug, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

His presence in her life these past few weeks has been of great comfort to her and his presence, even without words, he was enough to calm her. They remain this way for a few moments and then he takes a step back and places a hand on each of her shoulders. "Alex, you are the strongest person I know, even now, and I know you're going to be absolutely fine today,” he states firmly. “But, should you need me, I'm only a phone call away. I mean it," he says, planting a firm kiss on her forehead. “Now go on, have a nice day and don’t get up to any mischief,” he tuts.

“Oh push off.” She giggles and waves him away.  
  
As she takes her last few steps, she can feel that she's already choking up but she fixes a determined look on her face and pauses to push the heavy door open. When she looks back once more for reassurance but he is already halfway down the street and so she purses her lips and soldiers on to admin.   
  
When she arrives at the front desk, she provides a doctor's certificate stating that she had suffered from an undisclosed illness and therefore had required the extended time off. The secretary accepts the note with a sympathetic smile and waves her on to her first class. 

 

\--

 

When she arrives at the door to her classroom, she stands with her hand poised at the pane of frosted glass for a moment, collecting her thoughts before knocking. Thankfully, her favourite teacher answers the door and steps outside for a word.  
  
"Ah, Alex! I couldn't help but notice you’d disappeared for quite a few lessons," Bryan says earnestly and she smiles.   
  
"My sister was taken ill. It was quite serious but she pulled through and I'm back to make a go of it now." The determination in her voice is evident and Bryan smiles endearingly, offering her a brief pat on the shoulder.   
  
"It isn't going to be a regular occurrence?" Bryan asks in concern.   
  
"I shouldn't think so?" She doesn't sound too sure of herself and Bryan gives her a doubtfful look, but turns to open the door and allow her in nonetheless.   
  
When she walks through the door, Jennifer bounds over and throws her arms around her. "I've missed you so much! How's Susie?"   
  
"We were scared for a while there but the doctors say that she's on the mend." She chirps enthusiastically, secretly hoping that her friend doesn't see through it.   
  
"I'm so glad," Jennifer beams. "Oh, you must come and see Arthur! He's been missing his favourite Shakespeare enthusiast!" She takes Alex by the wrist and begins pulling her along.

  
An overwhelming sensation of dread washes over her and she feels sick. She suddenly feels tense. Like a dark cloud has fallen upon her.   
  
The next thing she remembers is Jennifer crouched over her, asking what day it is.   
  
"Alex? Are you alright?" she asks, the deep concern evident in her voice. "How many fingers am I holding up?"   
  
Alex groans, batting away Jen's hand. "M'fine. Just a bit run down is all." She sits up slowly and surveys the room.

Arthur gives her an encouraging smile and helps her to stand, then quickly changes the subject. "So, it's been a while." 

Alex laughs half-heartedly and then clears her throat, hoping to steer the subject away from herself as quickly as possible. "So, what exactly are we doing this lesson?"   
  
"Pairing up and rehearsing scenes from Macbeth," Arthur explains. "It's for the end of year showcase. The successful couple go on to perform the leads." He explains animatedly.   
  
"Oh, you'll need a partner!" Jen cranes her neck above the other couples in the room and Alex hesitantly does the same.

_Only one other classmate is standing alone._    
  
"Oh, anyone but him," she groans. "Can't I just team up with you two?"   
  
Arthur and Jennifer laugh.   
  
"He's actually not that bad once you get to know him." Arthur notes.   
  
Alex eyes him skeptically.  
  
"I know, I know,” he raises his hands in surrender. “But he came to the party and we got chatting and he isn't too bad. He's got great taste in music and he brought some scotch and you know where I stand when it comes to scotch," he raises his eyebrows in question and Jennifer rolls her eyes.   
  
"Yeah well, I don't buy it." Alex crosses her arms, setting a baleful glance in Ralph's direction. "There's playing nice and there's being nice and he's definitely the latter."   
  
She hears a comment about how "lucky" he is to have her as a partner from someone behind her and cringes, knowing that he must be approaching.   
  
"Ah Alex, how lovely to see you back."   
  
She rolls her eyes and plasters on a tolerant smile before turning around. "Hello Ralph."  
  
"It seems that we both find ourselves without a partner."  
  
Alex remains silent and stares at him, less than amused.

"Shall we?" He gestures for her to join him.

"If we must." She huffs in irritation.    
  
They walk to the other side of the room and he explains the exercise to her again.   
  
"We're to choose and re-enact a scene of our choice. I hope you don't mind but I've already taken the liberty of selecting Act 1, Scene 5."   
  
"Actually yes, I do mind." She snaps That scene was hers and Matt's. She didn't want her memory of their performance marred by this cretin.   
  
Ralph makes a sound of frustration. "Has anyone ever told you that you're impossible?"   
  
"Has anybody ever told you no?" Alex retorts loudly.   
  
By now, the class is watching them intently. Nobody had ever stood up to Ralph. It wasn't that he was a bully, it's just that he's something like school royalty and they all sort of fall in line behind him.   
  
Alex is fuming. She strides across the room to Bryan's table and leans across to speak. "You cannot force me to partner me with him. He's absolutely insufferable.”   
  
Without looking up from his paperwork, Bryan speaks. "Alexandra, if you want to succeed as an actress, you need to learn to mask all ill feelings toward your co-stars. Now would you be so kind as to return to your partner."   
  
Alex makes a strangling motion in the air and stomps sulkily back to her place.   
  
"Alright, fine. But we do it _my_ way."   
  
"Good."   
  
\--   
  
After briefly discussing the direction she would like to take, completely absent from passionate embraces and whispered plans, they decide that it would be best to act it out and see what they're missing.   
  
Though he has agreed, Ralph has proven to be very reluctant to perform the scene her way He is, however, adamant that he will sway Alex's opinion one way or another.   
  
She stands to the side of the room, clasping a piece of paper she tore from her notepad. Ralph mimes stepping through the heavy door.   
  
"Great Glamis! worthy Cawdor!   
Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter!" Alex announces.   
  
Ralph rushes to her in one swift motion, capturing her face in his hands. Her mouth gapes open in shock and just like that, he takes the opportunity to steal a hungry kiss.   
  
Alex fights him with all she has and pushes him away furiously. At this point, she realises that her hand seems to have taken on a life of its own and it is swiftly making contact with his face.   
  
Alex stands frozen on the spot, her hand still poised mid-air.   
  
He clasps his face in shock at first, then it slowly morphs into a sneering smile. "My, my, my, aren't you a spirited one?"   
  
"Don't you ever come near me again, you egotistical arsehole." She growls, then storms from the room.   
  
\--   
  
When Ralph comes to find her, she's leaning back against the wall down the hallway. As soon as she hears him approaching, she extends herself to her full height and crosses her arms defensively. She would not be intimidated by this man again. She downright refused.   
  
"What do you want, Ralph?" She spits.   
  
"I've come to extend to you an offer.” He looks to be overly composed and it makes her feel uneasy. “I'm certain that we have the potential to be great together." He smiles luridly and Alex feels her nose twitch in disgust. "All I ask is that you give me a chance to prove myself."  
  
He looks to her with piercing eyes and she gazes into them long and hard. It takes a great deal of practice to depict such sincerity from one look and she's certain that he must be an expert but she takes the advice given to her by Bryan and decides that it may be in her best interests to swallow her pride. 

  
"Alright," she says begrudgingly. "But don't you dare pull a stunt like that again or I swear I will bite off your tongue."   
  
Ralph acknowledges her threat with a curt nod and they return to class. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever felt so satisfied with a written action in my life. I hope she slaps him again. More when it's written, as always!


	21. Unmasked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this has taken so long to post and that it's such a short update! I've been preparing for a monumental life event and it's been really difficult to find time to write. 
> 
> I'll be back when I can!

As promised, Ralph keeps his tongue where he is told for the remainder of the week's rehearsals and that Friday, the duo are informed that they are to play the respective roles of the Thane and his Lady. She hates to admit it but she and Ralph make quite the formidable team and this distraction is exactly the thing she's been needing for all these weeks.

Instead of looking at the members of her class in complete terror, she can focus all of her energies on getting her performance absolutely perfect and after 3 weeks of preparation, the class is set to perform the biggest production of their school careers.

"Alright everyone, places please," calls Fiona, stage manager. "Could everyone please return to their places?"

The students continue to bustle loudly about the stage, unable to hear their instructions over the loud din. Ralph positions two fingers at his lips and gives a sharp breath, generating an ear piercing whistle which warrants an immediate response from his peers.

Fiona turns to him and gives him a grateful smile. "Places, please," she sighs.

The students oblige, entering their first positions. Alex stands at the altar along the back wall of the stage, her back turned on the audience, listening to the scenes unfolding behind her.

This production is nothing like the performance she and Matt gave. This one is darker, period accurate and to add a touch of authenticity, she styles herself accordingly by forgoing undergarments. She revels in the sensation of the soft fabric on her skin, feeling unconstricted and free. As the battle scene unfolds behind her, she works at igniting the candles surrounding her altar. By the time her first spoken words arise, she has fallen completely into character. She is no longer Alex. She is fiery and fast witted Lady Macbeth.

Ralph enters the scene moments later and she turns quickly to face him. His eyes lock onto her in an almost predatory manner and he practically lunges for her in lust. He clasps her face in his hands and drags it to his own greedily, pulling her mouth to meet his and forcing it open with his tongue.

Alex struggles against him but he will not relent. In her panic, she does the only thing she can think of to remove the unwanted intrusion.

She bites down. Hard.

Ralph struggles at her mercy but she does not relinquish her grip until he is practically pleading for it.

Ralph draws back, the look of horror on his face twists into a sneer. _"My, you really are a little firecracker, aren't you?"_

His choice of words trigger something in her mind and she scowls in silence as the pieces of the puzzle click into place.

"You." Her voice is small, barely a whisper at first, but she presses on. "It was you." Her voice is now stronger- more forceful, and she feels her strength building with her anger.

Ralph eyes her indignantly, crossing his arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Alex steps closer, one fist balled at her side, the other pointing an accusatory finger. "You raped me."


	22. Here I stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm back from secretly getting married and honeymooning and I'm all ready to pick up where I left off. I hope this chapter is satisfactory! I noticed a few of you were concerned that Alex was outed in front of the class so I think I've fixed that? It's only a short one but I've got plans for the next already and it'll be up in a few days. We're drawing closer to the end though, I can feel it. 
> 
> Oh and fear not! There'll be a couply revelation soon enough. It just hasn't felt like the right time yet.

Ralph stammers. "What did you say?" He's clearly shaken but only for a moment, quickly composing himself. 

"You heard me, now you listen. If you so much as glance in my direction, I'll have your guts for garters and don't you think I won't. My father is a butcher and he's taught me all he knows." Alex growls, curling a fist into the collar of his pretentiously pressed white shirt and with all of her strength, she manages to take him off guard and punch him hard enough that he falls to the floor. 

Only a few had witnessed the initial altercation but the rest who were all far too preoccupied by running their own lines and dressing the stage were yet to catch on. Ralph's sudden contact with the floor caught them by surprise and had roused their attention and as he stood and regained as much of his composure as he could with a split and bleeding lip, they all gathered around. 

Jennifer is first to speak, only addressing Alex. "What's going on here?" 

Ralph sneers in her direction to indicate his distaste for her but she ignores him in favour of her friend. 

"I refuse to work with him," Alex states coldly and with no further explanation. The stage manager rushes over in a tizzy. 

"What do you mean you refuse? You can't refuse! It's opening night tomorrow!" 

"I don't care. You either replace him or you replace me but I won't play party to his disgusting behaviour any further," she says calmly and then storms from the stage and then swiftly exits the campus. 

\-- 

She waits until she's clear from the view of the school before the tears she's been holding back begin to drown her vision as she walks. Passers by exchange sympathetic looks with her as she hurries past but she ignores them. She doesn't completely register where she's going at first. She vaguely recognises bushes and decorated facades as she passes them but doesn't truly know where she is headed until she sees the familiar street sign overhead. 

'Of course I'm going to Matt's house. Where else would I be going?' She thinks to herself. 

She rustles through her satchel in search of his house key but is interrupted by the door opening in front of her, revealing a very confused looking Matt. 

"Alex, what are you doing here?" 

He sees the fresh streaks of moisture that her tears have left upon her face and he steps forward to embrace her. 

"It was him all along," she sobs. 

Matt scowls at her words, not quite sure what she means and wrapping his arms around her.

"He's always given me a bad vibe but I never thought that it would be -" her voice breaks and she chokes back yet more tears. 

The realisation of what she's referring to begins to dawn on him and he guides her inside and sits her down on the couch. 

"Alex love -" he sighs, placing a hand on her knee. "You know, don't you?" 

Alex nods, her face buried in her hands. 

When he speaks, his voice is soft but she detects a hint of rage bubbling under the surface. "Who was it?" 

Alex closes her eyes and makes an effort to calm her breathing before she speaks. "It was - Ralph -" she finally replies, her voice barely a whisper. "He made a remark about me and it all came flooding back. I can't believe I didn't realise sooner." 

Matt stands slowly, balling his fists at his sides. "I'll bloody kill him." 

"No Matt!" She quickly rises from the chair and locks her gaze with his. Her wide eyes swim with tears but her voice is even. "You're the only proper decent man I know. Please don't ruin that." 

Matt's stance softens with a sigh and he wraps an arm around his friend possessively, running his fingers through her mess of hair with the other. 

They remain silent for what feels like an eternity until Alex finally speaks. 

"I want to have him formally charged." 

Matt nods, his chin brushing against her hair.

"We'll go- right now if you like?" 

Alex smiles softly, blinking back tears. "Thank you, Matt," she says as she rises to her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck to steady herself and then applying a kiss to his stubbly cheek. "Your support through this whole ordeal and everything else in general mean the world to me."

Matt smiles softly to her in return and gives her a firm squeeze. "That's what friends are for, Kingston." 

\-- 

"I'm sorry," the Detective sighs. "But without any evidence or witnesses to corroborate your allegations, we can't make an arrest." 

Matt slams his fist on the table in frustration causing Alex to jump in her seat. "What do you mean without evidence? She had all those tests at the hospital!" 

"I'm aware of that fact," the woman replies, addressing Alex as opposed to Matt. "But with nothing to compare the samples to and no eyewitness accounts, there's nothing we can do and really, you're lucky that he hasn't pressed charges." 

Alex's eyes widen in shock. "Pressed charges? What for?" 

"An incident report was filled by your teacher after your outburst and subsequent bout of abusive behaviour during class but Mr Fiennes has declined to take the matter any further."

Alex scoffs and the officer offers her a sympathetic smile. She must see this type of thing very often, Alex thinks to herself.

"The best we can do is to enquire further. Perhaps someone saw him slip something into your drink or exit the bedroom. Who knows, there may be other victims who are yet to come forward," the detective says hopefully and Alex nods. 

\--


	23. Won't back down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this took a week. In my defense, I've been writing up requests, celebrating birthdays and dealing with sick children (for the 79th time this year). Excerpts of Macbeth (Act 1, Scene 5) taken directly from the works of William Shakespeare. I hope you enjoy!

They return to Alex's flat to a multitude of messages on her answering machine, some were from Jennifer congratulating her on her tremendous right hook and others from Arthur begging her to come back to class. 

 

She giggles quietly to herself as she wanders to the kitchenette for a glass of water with Matt trailing behind her. 

 

"You could go back, you know," Matt says quietly from behind. 

 

Alex turns on the spot and looks at him, puzzled. "You know I can't. The questioning alone would be too much," she says, sitting down on a nearby barstool and burying her face in her glass. 

 

"You heard Jen, they're pretty desperate for their leading lady to return and surely he's too embarrassed about his ugly mug to be in the show now," Matt shrugs with a smug smile.  

 

He moves to her side and places a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't I just call Jen back and ask her what's going on? Then we could formulate a plan based on that," he offers. Alex moves her glass away from her lips mid-sip to consider his offer momentarily then looks up from her water glass and nods minutely. He immediately returns to the sitting room to return Jen's call while Alex hangs back and feigns an attempt at looking disinterested in the outcome of the phone call. 

 

"Hey Jen... Yeah she's here.... Um, about the show..." 

 

Matt scowls into the phone, causing Alex to edge closer. "So that's it then? They're cancelling it?" 

 

Alex lunges at Matt and snatches the receiver from his hand. "What do you mean 'cancelled'," she shouts down the line. "I worked bloody hard for this role and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand idly by and let them can it!" 

 

Jennifer chuckles. "So you are speaking then? Listen, I don't need to ask what caused the events of today. I'll just assume that Ralph was being his usual disgusting self and move on. What I do need from you though, is assurance that you'll be here and ready for the run-through in an hour. We still haven't got a Macbeth and as it is, Arthur is trying to shift Banquo onto anyone who'll take it so he can give it a go -" 

 

There is a pause in the conversation as she attempts to formulate an alternate plan when it dawns on her. 

 

"Maaaaatt…." she drawls. He looks up from the pamphlet he's found on the coffee table in surprise. "Remember when we studied Macbeth in school?" 

 

He scrubs a hand over his hair nervously. "I - uh.... I'm not sure?" 

 

Thinking on the spot, Alex quickly shoots the most obscure line she can think of. "Pronounce it for me, sir, to all our friends." 

 

Without a second thought, he responds. "See, they encounter thee with their hearts' thanks." 

 

"Tell everyone not to worry. We have a Macbeth and we'll be there in 20 minutes." She hangs up hastily and turns to face him, beaming. 

Matt is frantically striding toward her, hands flailing about in front of him as he goes. "Alex, I can't! I don’t know the stage directions. I don't even go to your school!”

 

She shrugs, keeping her demeanour cool and casual. "We’ll do a full run-through when we get there and besides, it's too late to back out now, darling. You'd be doing me a _huge_ favour," she says pleadingly, batting her dark eyelashes innocently. 

 

"I hate when you do that," he says, swatting her away with his hand. 

 

"You don't," she giggles triumphantly. 

 

\--

After a solid 2 hours of rehearsal, Matt is almost confident that he can pull this off without a hitch and has almost finished being outfitted in his traditional Scottish battle garb when a light knock comes from the other side of the door.

“Can I come in?” He recognises the voice immediately and reaches an arm over the costumer, who has kindly volunteered to help him fit his costume, to open the door.

Alex steps into the small room carefully, making sure not to knock over the woman’s sewing kit as she squeezes past, and manoeuvres herself to stand facing her friend.

“I’m all done here,” the woman says as she stands. “I’ll just get out of your hair,” she giggles to herself, gesturing to Alex’s wild mane and the pair politely laughs until she exits.  

Matt straightens up slightly and fusses about with his collar. “How do I look?” He asks, a confident smile playing on his lips.

Alex looks him up and down and then returns her gaze to his face with an approving smile. “Amazing.”

“Well, I’d better be,” he scoffs.

“Yes, you’d better be,” she chuckles.

 

They remain silent for a moment and then Alex looks up to him reminiscently. “Do you remember our first performance together?”

Matt chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s a bit hard to forget,” he says before the conversation is interrupted by a knocking at the door. “Places in 5 minutes,” calls a voice from outside.

The realisation that he will be onstage in less than 5 minutes is now dawning on him and his heart is thumping so hard in his chest that he daresay it may be visible through the many layers of his costume. He knows Alex senses it; she always does. She moves forward and embraces him tightly. “Good luck, darling. Not that you need it,” she says with an encouraging smile.

“Yeah, you too,” he chokes out in response as she makes her way to the exit, waving behind her as she goes.

_“How on Earth does she talk me into these things?”_

\--

Onstage, the first four acts go off without a hitch. Matt is brilliant from what Alex can hear in the wings and soon, they will be acting out their first scene together in front of an audience in almost 4 years.

Gloria appears behind her toward the close of the current scene and brushes a hand over her shoulder. “Top of the stairs,” she instructs. Alex nods silently and makes her way up to the second landing. The curtains close, signalling her arrival onstage so she lifts her skirts and shuffles across to first position while the previous scene is cleared and the new castle interior backdrop is revealed.

Moments later, the curtains are opening and light floods the stage around her. She inhales deeply, briefly awaiting the end of the applause to begin.

“They met me in the day of success: and I have learned by the perfectest report, they have more in  
them than mortal knowledge.” Poising a finger in the air pensively, she continues. “When I burned in desire to question them further, they made themselves air into which they vanished.” She moves forward, her brows knitted together in confusion. “Whiles I stood rapt in the wonder of it, came missives from the king, who all-hailed me 'Thane of Cawdor;' by which title, before these weird sisters saluted me, and referred me to the coming on of time, with 'Hail, king that  
shalt be!” She clasps her hands together in front of her and paces slowly, looking down to the floor, then casting her gaze upward to the tapestry on the wall. “This have I thought good to deliver thee, my dearest partner of greatness, that thou mightst not lose the dues of rejoicing by being ignorant of what greatness is promised thee.” Placing a hand to her bosom, she continues. “Lay it to thy heart, and farewell.”

She has a blocked space onstage for the moment so she is left with no alternative but to stride in her imaginary square. Had this been real life, she would find herself rationalising everything by going for a lengthy walk. That, however, is not feasible and she is therefore left with no choice but to emphasise her words with her tone of voice and physicality alone.

  
“Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be what thou art promised: yet do I fear thy nature. It is too full o' the milk of human kindness to catch the nearest way: thou wouldst be great;  
Art not without ambition, but without. The illness should attend it: what thou wouldst highly, that wouldst thou holily; wouldst not play false, and yet wouldst wrongly win. Thou'ldst have, great Glamis. That which cries 'Thus thou must do, if thou have it; and that which rather thou dost fear to do than wishest should be undone.  Hie thee hither that I may pour my spirits in thine ear, and chastise with the valour of my tongue. All that impedes thee from the golden round, which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem to have thee crown'd withal.”

Liam, who plays the messenger, rushes onstage and greets her with a bow.

"What is your tidings?" she asks indignantly.

He shuffles on the spot nervously. "The king comes here to-night."

Alex quickly charges toward him, handling him by the shoulders. "Thou'rt mad to say it:  
Is not thy master with him? who, were't so,  
Would have inform'd for preparation," she asks frantically.

"So please you, it is true: our thane is coming:  
One of my fellows had the speed of him,  
Who, almost dead for breath, had scarcely more  
Than would make up his message," the messenger blurts, panicked. He bows far lower to the ground than she remembers seeing in rehearsal and makes a mental note to commend him on his commitment to character.

She lowers herself slightly and ghosts a hand over the messenger’s elbow, signalling him to rise. Her next delivery is far more pleasant. Overly sweet and rushed.

"Give him tending;  
He brings great news." With that, the messenger swiftly exits the stage. She turns to face the audience slowly, her features schooled into a look of wonder.

"The raven himself is hoarse  
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan  
Under my battlements."

Her arms are now raised for dramatic effect. "Come, you spirits  
That tend on mortal thoughts."

She runs her hands up her torso provocatively and groans. "Unsex me here and fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty! Make thick my blood;  
Stop up the access and passage to remorse. That no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between the effect and it!” She caresses her breasts fiercely. “Come to my woman's breasts and take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers, wherever in your sightless substances. You wait on nature's mischief! Come, thick night, and pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell. That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark. To cry 'Hold, hold!'”

Across the stage, the door slams closed, causing her to snap around and face the doorway.

"Great Glamis! worthy Cawdor! Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter!"

 She breaks into a short run, meeting Matt halfway across the stage. He receives her enthusiastically, running soft but greedy hands over her person, pushing stray curls from her face and then encapsulating her face in his hands, running thumbs over her cheeks reverently. A warmth tingles through the points of contact, causing their eyes to lock into an intense stare. Alex smirks deviously; silently signalling him of her not necessarily clandestine intentions for this scene and his eyes widen, causing her to stifle a wide grin with her words. “Thy letters have transported me beyond this ignorant present, and I feel now the future in the instant.”

Matt’s temporary state of shock is replaced by a small smirk of understanding and he speaks. “My dearest love,” he recites. His voice is gravelly, unlike his own, and it causes Alex to flush a light shade of pink

She gives a minute nod, signalling him that she would be fine with his advances and he obliges, running his large and capable hands down the length of her torso and settling one on the underside of her buttocks, giving it a possessive squeeze. The other hand rests between her shoulder blades to steady her as she teeters on tiptoes. She tilts her head upward to reach his mouth and nips gently at his bottom lip. He pictures himself in the situation of Macbeth and finds himself growing impatient of such pleasantries and instead pushes her backwards against a heavy wooden table. Alex runs savage fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp as she goes. He doesn’t find the burning sensation left in her wake unpleasant, quite the opposite actually but he pulls away from her quickly, nonetheless.  His eyes are wide but he covers his panicked tone by hissing out his next line. “Duncan comes here tonight.”

 Alex pulls herself away from his face, lifting her leg and hooking it enticingly around his angular hip and he responds accordingly, pulling her closer. Alex pants excitedly, her wyes flickering with lust. “And when goes hence,” she asks.

“He pulls her face closer to his and murmurs into her ear. “Tomorrow as he purposes.”

He slides a hand up the skirt of her dress and palms at her thigh hungrily, eliciting a loud moan in return. Alex clenches her other leg around his hips and undulates longingly. “O, never shall sun that morrow see! Your face, my thane, is as a book where men may read strange matters.” She brings herself up toward his face, nestling it into the crook of his neck and licks a long stroke up his neck and across his jaw. “To beguile the time, look like the time; bear welcome in your eye.  
Your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under't.” He pretends to kiss her hungrily but is surprised to find that she strokes him with her tongue to permit her entry to his mouth. Their kiss deepens and, lost in the moment, they continue for quite some time- only interrupted by a frustrated hiss from Gloria at the side of stage. Alex breaks off quickly, biting her lip, and readjusts their position so she is now straddling him. “He that's coming  
Must be provided for: and you shall put this night's great business into my dispatch which shall, to all our nights and days to come, give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.”

She slides her small hand up the skirt of Matt’s kilt and strokes firmly at his thigh, eliciting a long and stuttering moan from his lips as he throws his head back in ecstasy.

His breathing ragged and his brow thoroughly soaked in sweat, he pants out his final line of the scene. “We will speak further,” he says as he collapses back on the table.

Only look up clear. To alter favour ever is to fear.” She presses one last lingering kiss to his lips and then slides from him to stand. “Leave all the rest to me.”

The stage turns black and the curtains close on the scene.

 

 

 

 


	24. Love is an open door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I did just reference Frozen in a chapter title. You'll see how relevant it is in a minute. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this one. I've been fighting a child who likes to steal the keys on the laptop if he finds it out. I hope the next one won't take quite so long to be published. I'm still just making it up as I go along but I have a rough idea what I'm planning in my head so I have my fingers crossed that it will all fall into place.

 

At the close of the show, the cast position themselves for their final bow. Matt and Alex stand front and centre, the whole theatre's eyes bore into them as they stand hand-in-hand, taking turns beaming at each other and the raucous crowd. The members of the cast file offstage leaving only them and they bow together, holding their joined hands high, before also leaving the stage. 

 

When they reach the stairs, they are ambushed by an overexcited Jennifer. "Oh my stars, you were brilliant!" She clutches them both tightly in her arms until they are almost falling over, releasing them only when Arthur reminds her that the top of the stairs is not the most appropriate place to be hugging people into submission. 

 

Upon entry backstage, Matt and Alex are received with applause and excited cheers. Bryan rushes forward, presenting Alex with a bouquet of lilies and a kiss to the cheek. 

 

"Absolutely staggering," he says over and over. When he moves over to Matt, he steps back and looks him up and down curiously before offering his hand to shake. "You're not just some urchin off the street. I know you, don't I?" 

 

Matt laughs. "Yeah, I auditioned here. Got to second stage but wasn't accepted." 

 

Bryan gapes at him in amazement. "Well, my lad. That was clearly our mistake," he says firmly. 

 

Matt chuckles lightheartedly. "I'm actually glad I wasn't accepted. No offense," he adds quickly. "I'm just more of a practical learner," he shrugs. 

 

Bryan nods in understanding. "You'd be surprised how many of the greats weren't suited to an academic setting. We've turned away several I could name off the top of my head and they've all gone on to do quite well for themselves. Anyway, I should let you go," he chuckles. "I think your leading lady would like to introduce you to a few people," he says, indicating to the crowd gathered around Alex and looking on expectantly. 

 

He moves toward her, a small smile playing on his lips, and unconsciously places a hand on the small of her back. She arches into his touch, looking up to him with a pleased smile. His heart leaps in his chest and he knows he's gone a bright shade of red but he leaves his hand in place and gives her a flustered smile in return. 

 

When introductions are complete, he wanders about the crowd. He remembers a few faces from Arthur's party and makes polite conversation, though he barely remembers their names. When he looks over to find Alex, she is nowhere to be seen. If it weren't for the fact that he knew what occurred the last time she had disappeared at a party, he would have felt safe assuming that she had popped off to the loo. After a few minutes of silent deliberation, he decided it would be better to go looking for her on the off chance that something untoward had occurred.

The halls backstage can only be described as a rabbit’s warren and he wanders for several minutes until he hears muffled shouts and banging down a dimly lit corridor.

He hesitantly enters the hall and calls out. “Alex?”

The thumping grows louder, less distant, and he comes to a halt outside a dressing room door. He reaches for a handle but it seems to have fallen off.

“Alex, is that you?”

The anxious cries subside but are replaced by panicked sobs from the other side of the door. “Stand back, I’m going to open the door,” he calls in. He braces himself on the door first, lining up his shoulder for impact, then draws back and;

-THUMP-

The wooden frame of the door creaks and he draws back again;

-THUMP-

The frame bends and splinters.

_‘One last hit.’_

And with one final charge, the frame buckles and the door flies open with an almighty crash. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the change in light. The hall he had come from was quite dim but this room was pitch black. He slowly edges around furniture, his hands out in front of him. “Alex, where are you?” He hears a sob and realises he is now inches from the source of and instinctively reaches out a hand. “Alex?” The figure leans into his hand with a loud gasping sob and he feels the tangle of curls brush across his hands. He sighs with relief. “Come on, Kingston. Let’s get you out of here,” he insists gently, taking her by the hand and helping to her feet. They walk through the darkened room carefully, emerging into the corridor without further injury. “Alex love, what happened?”  

She looks up to him sheepishly and looks away again, a small sob escaping her lips. “I w-went into the d-dressing room to ch-change. The light w-went out and then someone shut the d-door. I thought -” her words break off and he sighs, taking her into his arms. “You thought it was him,” he finishes for her. She presses her forehead into his shoulder and gives a small nod. Matt cups the back of her head with one hand and traces gentle, soothing circles on her back with the other. Once her sobs subside they return to the party briefly before excusing themselves, telling everyone that Alex is suddenly not feeling well. “You know, you do look quite pale,” Jennifer frets, placing a hand upon Alex’s forehead. “Do you want me to take you home? I could borrow Arthur’s car,” she offers.

Alex shakes her head. “No, it’s alright. Matt was going to come back with me because he left his bag there earlier.” Jennifer glances toward Matt with a knowing grin. He looks back, puzzled, but smiles anyway.

\--

In the cab back to Alex’s flat, she rests her weary head against his shoulder and dozes in and out of consciousness until they reach her door. Matt nudges her awake gently and draws her out of the cab by the hand. “Come on love, let’s get you inside,” he says with a reverent smile. When they get inside, he takes her straight to her bedroom and she lies down on the bed. It has been weeks since he was last required to sleep in her bed. The night terrors had been pushed from her mind with all of the rehearsing. Not wanting to overstep any boundaries, he quietly moves toward the door.

“Matt?”

When he turns, Alex is propped up on an elbow and looking at him with an exhausted but quizzical expression. “Where are you going?” Matt gives a soft laugh and moves back to the bed, waiting for Alex to make room before joining her. She curls into his side, resting her head on his chest in lieu of the pillow he has commandeered, and yawns widely.

He speaks mostly about nonsense as he draws lazy circles against her back. She dozes in and out of consciousness as the gentle sound of his voice rings in her ears. The last words she hears:

_“I love you, Alex.”_

 

“I love you too,” she mutters sleepily.

 

\--

 

When they awaken the following morning, their state can only be described as a tangle of limbs. Alex wakes first, moving slowly from Matt’s arms and sitting upright on the edge of the bed.

_‘Was that a dream?’_

She recalls using him as a pillow, him talking her to sleep like he always does but was his sudden proclamation of love real or just a _very_ realistic dream? She often finds herself wondering what life would be like if she’d taken Laura’s advice; if she’d told him how she felt from the get-go. Would they be living together? Would everything with Ralph have happened _?_

_‘Don’t. Don’t focus on the past.’_

 

Matt stirs behind her. “Mmmmorning,” he yawns, stretching his limbs out exaggeratedly. “Yeah,” Alex replies absently. Matt sits up in bed, resting back on his arm and scrubbing a hand over his stubble. “You alright?” Alex turns to face him, a halfhearted smile plastered onto her face. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lies.

 

 

 


	25. A shy bird

The fact that Alex is still a little out of sorts hasn't gone unnoticed by Matt this morning. She's a little more distant than usual. Normally, she’s all talk and dancing about of a morning. It’s usually quite annoying but he realises now that he actually really enjoys that she’s a morning person. He puts it down to Ralph and the incident last night and decided would be best to let her have some space while he makes breakfast. He's no culinary genius but he's mastered boiling eggs and if there’s one thing he knows Alex can never resist is a good soft-boiled egg with soldier toast. 

 

He toasts the bread and then butters it before cutting it into thin strips for dipping. By the time it is complete, Alex has showered and dressed and is now wandering down the hall to sit at the breakfast bar. "Hope you're hungry," Matt sing-songs as he turns to face her. "Mhmm, it smells delicious," she hums. 

 

"Juice?" Matt offers with a flourish in the direction of the refrigerator. Alex nods and he turns on the spot to reach into the fridge. Alex giggles quietly at the spectacle that is the 6ft something Matt trying to navigate his limbs in her minuscule kitchen space without hitting his head or breaking something. When he pours the contents of the carton into a glass, he discovers that it only contains enough juice for a one of them. "Oh, you take it," Alex insists. "You went to all this trouble. I'll just have water!" Naturally, Matt will have none of it. "No, you had a huge day yesterday. I want you to have it and besides, it's yours anyway. It's in _your_ fridge -" He places the glass down in front of her but she crosses her arms and refuses to drink. "Aleeeeex," he whines, pushing it toward her.

 

After a few minutes of withstanding his intense puppy dog stare, she caves in to pressure. "Alright fine," she huffs, thumping her hands down on the counter. "But we'll share,” she says sternly.

Matt sighs in resignation and reaches over her shoulder to pick up the glass and takes a sip to prove his compliance, and then places the glass back on the counter and gazes at her expectantly. She rolls her eyes and picks it up, takes a sip and then looks at him as if to say _‘happy now?’_ Matt bows his head with a smile and claps his hands together, rubbing them excitedly. "Now, breakfast?" 

"Please -" she responds, chuckling. He spins flamboyantly to the counter opposite and picks up two plates, both with a boiled egg in a ceramic egg cup and four strips of toast, then turns on the spot and places one in front of her and the other where he will sit. She looks up and smiles at him gratefully. "This looks wonderful. Thank you." 

 

They eat in an amicable silence and after a few minutes, Alex has run out of toast. She casts a sideward glance toward Matt, a wicked grin on her face, and pilfers a piece of toast from his plate. She then mops the last of the yolk from her egg, takes a bite and then places it back on his plate again. Matt rolls his eyes. "Little thief," he chuckles, nudging her playfully in the shoulder. 

 

She turns back to her own plate to scoop the remainder of her egg from its shell but before she can take her spoon to it, there is a knock on the door. "I wonder who that could be at this hour," she says with a confused scowl. Matt stands and moves toward the door. "I'll get it. Finish -" he points at her in warning, knowing that if he doesn’t make her eat it all, she probably won’t.

 

When he opens the door, he is greeted by a girl he remembers meeting backstage last night. "Oh, hi! It's Samantha, isn’t it?" The girl nods. She's smiling but he can see a nervous look in her eyes. "Uh, what brings you here this fine Saturday?" Her gaze shifts toward Alex, who is now moving toward the door with a curious expression on her face. “Hi Sam, would you like to come in?" 

 

Samantha nods and scurries into the flat. Her eyes dart between Matt and Alex anxiously. "Can we go somewhere private," she whispers. Matt takes that as his cue to leave and moves to grab his wallet and keys but Alex shakes her head. “You still haven’t finished breakfast,” she says through gritted teeth and with an expression that silently pleads for him to stay in case something strange happens. He nods and walks over to the radio and turns it on and then returns to his seat at the counter.

 

Alex returns her gaze to Sam and then points her in the direction of the bedroom. 

 

"Please, sit -" Alex offers warmly. Samantha obliges and sits awkwardly on the edge of the bed. "Now, how can I help you?" Samantha looks down at her hands, stringing her fingers together and then looks back to Alex with a grimace. Almost as if the news she has makes her feel ill. "Well, it's just – I don’t want you to think I was listening in but -" She exhales and then breathes in deeply to calm her nerves. More self-assured now, she looks at Alex with a stern expression on her face and begins again. _"I know."_  

 

Alex tilts her head to the side, confused. "Sorry, what do you know?" 

 

"I know what he did -" she pauses and waits for Alex to catch on but Alex simply stares at her. "What Ralph did," she reiterates. Her eyes glaze over with tears but she blinks them away.  

 

It takes only seconds before all colour drains from Alex's face. “How did you -?” Sam shifts uncomfortably in her place and begins to explain, her voice shakes as she speaks but she soldiers on. “I saw what happened yesterday. When you hit him- I was in the wings preparing the costumes and heard everything,” she admits, looking away quickly.

 

Alex’s eyes light up and she grabs Sam’s hand. “And you believe me?”

 

Sam nods. A wave of darkness suddenly washes over her and she sighs shakily. Alex picks up on the sudden change in mood and gives her hand another squeeze. “He did it to you too, didn’t he?”

 

Sam nods again. “It was after last year’s Pygmalion show. He was flirting mercilessly for the entire night. I kept telling him he wasn’t my type but I suppose he isn’t used to being told ‘no’.” Alex snorts, recalling having a similar argument with him several months previous. “After the show, we all went downstairs to the after party in the green room. I only remember having one glass of wine but it hit me really hard. The next thing I know, I’m semi-conscious on the sofa in his dressing room and he’s standing over me pulling off his pants,” she sighs in resignation and Alex pats softly at her back to comfort her. “Did you go to the police,” asks Alex hopefully. Sam shakes her head. “By the time I had the courage to go, there was no evidence of the assault and when they spoke to him, he said he’d helped me go to the dressing room to sleep it off.” Alex looks on in pity. She remembered bits and pieces of her attack but at least she didn’t have to remember that.  Sam looks up, smiling softly. “I’m really glad I can finally talk to someone about this.” Alex nods. “Me too,” she says, smiling. “I mean, I know I have Matt but that’s not the same. He can’t fully understand -”

 

“Oh, he knows?” Sam asks in surprise. Alex nods. “Of course he does, I tell him everything,” she says with a reverent smile. Sam sighs. “I wish I had a relationship like that with my girlfriend.” Alex looks at her, puzzled. “What do you mean relationship? Matt and I are just friends,” she laughs awkwardly.

 

“Oh! I just assumed after that performance last night that you two were…” she makes an open handed ‘you know’ gesture.

 

“Heavens no!” Alex laughs, fanning her face with her hands as if the very motion will diffuse the obvious tension she feels upon the subject. “We’ve known each other for years but nothing like that has ever even occurred to us.”

 

Sam quirks a brow. “You could have fooled me.” Alex blushes under her scrutiny and turns away. “Shut up,” she giggles. When she feels confident that her redness has subsided, she returns her gaze to Samantha on the bed and speaks hesitantly. “Would it be alright if I told Matt?” Sam looks up, seeking comfort. “Don’t worry. Your secret will be safe with me. I just want to tell him that we have proof now,” Alex affirms. Sam nods slowly, sighing with relief.

 

"Matt," she calls out but receives no answer. She stands and moves toward the door in one swift motion. "Matt!" He immediately stands, walking up the hall in 4 long strides to join her and then places a hand on the small of her back. "What is it, love?" 

 

Alex ducks her head and he mirrors her habitually. "She  _knows_ , Matt -" 

 

Matt looks from Alex to Samantha and then back to Alex again in surprise. "You mean -?" Alex nods excitedly, a wide grin on her face. Matt rushes to Samantha's side and begins an unintentional interrogation. "How do you know? Did you see him? Did he drug her?" 

 

Alex steps up behind him, pulling him away. “We’ve already been through this. It’s alright,” she assures him. "Now Sam, I know it's very difficult, but I need to ask this of you," Alex says, bowing down to meet Sam's eyes, her hands placed on either shoulder. "Will you please come to the police and give them a statement? They won't take just my word for it but maybe if you came forward- if they knew there were more victims- maybe they'd bring him in. Maybe they'd even have enough evidence for a conviction," she stresses, giving Sam’s hand a gentle squeeze. She didn't want to push but she needed her testimony to take that bastard down. 

 

Samantha nods, a quiet sob escaping her lips. Alex beams, taking her into a hug filled with gratefulness, hope and strength for her new friend. _"Thank you."_  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote another chapter and was too impatient to leave it a few days so I'm posting it now. For those concerned that Ralph was getting away with it, I hope this was an apt resolution?


	26. I am fire

A few hours later, Alex ventures into the local police station followed closely by Sam and Matt. She stands at the counter bouncing on the balls of her feet. She doesn't know if it's nerves or excitement: perhaps it's both. She doesn't care. The feeling of dread has finally been lifted off her shoulders.

_Soon, she'll be able to breathe._

It takes a surprising length of time to grab someone's attention but soon enough, Sam is being ushered into an interview room to give a statement while Matt and Alex sit silently in the foyer.

After a considerable amount of time and several trips to the coffee machine, the detective appears in front of them and Sam steps out of the corridor behind her. Alex stands, looking to the detective in anticipation. The detective gives a small nod of acknowledgement and signals for Alex to follow, leaving Matt alone in the hall. _'What's going on?'_ Matt mimes but Sam shrugs and quickens her step to catch up to Alex and the detective. He slumps back into his seat, resting his face in his hands. All he can do now is wait.

\--

Matt waits another 40 minutes, taking turns between tapping his feet impatiently on the tiled floor and pacing up and down the hall in an attempt to see anything, really. When Alex and Sam finally return, it is arm in arm and with wide grins on their faces. Matt stands, welcoming them back with an eager smile. "Well, what did she say?" Alex looks at Sam and then back to Matt and takes a deep breath in.

"Well," she pauses dramatically, waiting for his reaction. Matt pokes her in the shoulder and she giggles. "They're going to make an inquiry! It's not what we were initially hoping for..." she trails off. "But it's at least something," Samantha adds. "And who knows, they may find out that there have been more victims this way and it could provide closure," Alex adds.

Matt clasps his hands together, giddy with excitement. "That's brilliant!"

\--

Within two weeks of commencement, the inquiry had uncovered a further 3 students from RADA were examined at the hospital for suspected rape cases. More digging revealed 4 more belonging to drama groups in the surrounding areas and the common denominator in all groups was one Ralph Fiennes.

After a month of trials, the courts ruled that he would serve a 7 year prison sentence and he would be placed on a sex offenders registry. As a standard practice, there is potential for a review for parole in 5 years but due to his family's notoriety, it would be difficult for him to transition back into the public eye without scrutiny. Furthermore, the likelihood of him securing any roles of great acclaim would be also be greatly reduced and it was quite astonishing how big a boost to Alex's ego that was. He knew she'd never admit to such petty or bitter feelings but if anyone deserved that type of ill wishing, it was Ralph Fiennes. Matt relished thought of it.

After the ruling, Alex and Matt moved quickly out of the courthouse, weaving around and dodging members of the crowd. Paparazzi and reporters huddle on the landing closest to the door in hopes of catching a glimpse of Ralph and his family following the guilty verdict. When they appear at the doors, guards surround them and immediately attempt to usher them away. Alex glances back momentarily, watching the chaos around Ralph unfold. Women crowd around him, screaming in protest. Some yell harsh and well deserved critiques about his disgusting sense of entitlement, others throw condoms filled with water. His mother shrieks loudly and blocks her makeup-caked face with a handbag. His father grunts disapprovingly but does not react further, probably under legal advisement. Guards form a barrier, pushing the protestors away as they advance.

As he walks, Ralph pauses, locking eyes on Alex who simply freezes on the spot. She remains expressionless for a moment before a small smile creeps onto her lips. He glares at her, his eyes showing no sign of remorse, and she shudders inwardly but in an effort not to show weakness, she simply raises her hand and makes a rude gesture in his direction then waves sarcastically as he is placed into the waiting police van.

Sighing, she turns to Matt. "I can't believe it." She breaks into a wide smile. "It's finally over." Matt beams down at her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and spins them around in a circle gleefully. Alex laughs harder than she has in months. When he lowers her back onto her feet she staggers slightly and, still giggling, she grabs his arm to steady herself. She looks up, her eyes soft and warm, and meets his gaze.

He reaches a tentative hand out to her face and strokes her cheek, slowly and carefully lacing his fingers through her hair and grazing her scalp. She doesn't object. Quite the opposite, in fact. She closes her eyes in a state of complete trust and leans into his touch with a small whimper. He leans in to speak softly. "Alex," Matt sighs close to her ear. "I love you."

Her eyes open slowly and meet his. Her face is relatively neutral at first, as if the words hadn't quite processed, but her face slowly breaks into a wicked grin as she drags his face level to her own by his ridiculous floppy hair and applies a bruising kiss to his lips.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and support. I didn't think this would be as popular as it has been and yet, here you all are! This is the end for this one but I may do an epilogue. I'll see how I go! I have another fic that I sort of started but haven't worked on since it was posted so I should probably try and do something about that too. Once again, thank you all so much! It's been lovely.


	27. The next Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several years have passed and both Matt and Alex have gone on to have very lucrative careers. Their latest role, however, becomes a case of life imitating art.

Sitting around the reading table, Alex glances around her. She recognises a few familiar faces from her last stint as Professor River Song several months ago now and gives them a polite smile. Steven, the writer of the previous episodes she had appeared in, had called her back in for a second and third appearance a few weeks ago and so here she was sitting in the board room anxiously awaiting the reveal of the new Doctor.

Karen, a young Scottish girl who had been cast as the Doctor’s new companion, sat to her right and spoke animatedly about her ideas for her character. A virtual unknown outside of Britain, she wanted to make sure that Amy Pond wasn’t regarded as just The Doctor’s sidekick and held a place in people’s hearts; someone that young girls could identify with. Alex offered her a little advice on staying true to her style, not letting the show skew how she felt girls should perceive a strong female protagonist.

While Karen paused to consider her advice quietly, Alex nervously reached into the satchel she had stowed at her feet to retrieve her mobile. It had been a day since Alex had heard from Matt. He’d gone up to visit his Mum for the weekend and he hadn’t called since he left yesterday morning. She worried her lip as she checked for any sign that he’d contacted her. Nothing.

She sighed to herself quietly, placing the phone back into the pocket in the front of her satchel before raising herself back into a sitting position. As she straightened herself up, she found herself colliding with something angular, followed by a hot liquid trickling down her back and shoulder.

“Oh God, I am so –“ she began before making eye contact with her mystery tea-spiller. “Matt?”

Matt stood beside her, his half empty Styrofoam cup still balanced precariously in his hand. “Surprise,” he grinned sheepishly. Alex remained in a stunned silence as he helped her back into her seat, pilfering a few tissues from the table in front of them to soak up the spilled tea on his wife’s blouse.

 Across the table, Steven clears his throat; causing him to lock eyes with the Scot. “If you’re quite finished, I’d like to make a start thanks,” he chuckled.

 

Matt instantly drops into the seat next to Alex.

 

“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to our new Doctor- Mr Matt Smith.” Matt blushes under everyone’s gaze and habitually flails his arms as if to divert the sudden attention from himself.

Alex gasps, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You never- You told me you were visiting your mother!”

Matt smiles smugly, bopping an affectionate finger on the tip of his wife's nose. “Rule number one,” his only reply.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've finally found the inspiration to write another multi-chapter. It always happens when I'm sleep deprived! I won't have a strict updating schedule, I'll just add to it when I can. I also apologise if the formatting is a bit off. I've been writing it on my phone because having the laptop out warrants an attack from baby hands that break my keyboard. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!


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